Moving

I am discontinuing this blog for the time being and moving to another space. My new address is jenjepsen.blogspot.com It's time to move beyond Ironman (I may return, just not sure when) to issues of faith.

Thank you all for reading about my IM journey!

Jen

Post 100

I cannot believe that I have had enough to say for a year to warrant 100 posts. Yikes. When I began the blog I was terrified of my writing ability, expressing myself, and potentially failing. Well, I suppose if one is honest and speaks his/her mind, there really isn't the opportunity to fail. I may lose readership, but whatever.

So, this weekend, yesterday and today, for 16 total hours, Eric and I attended training through Boulder County to serve in the area of foster parenting, respite care or fost-adopt. We have one more day of training next weekend, but it is nice to have 2/3 behind us. We are not 100% certain, in what capacity we will serve, but we are going down the path to be better informed, fully understanding what we are getting ourselves and our family into.

I can definitely say, at this point, that my heart has been opened. I have moments of fear and concern, but these are countered by equal parts desire to provide a difference in the life of a child who has done nothing to deserve their situation but be born. I look at my own three peeps and think about how truly "easy" their little lives are. They don't live in a state of survival or fear (for the most part, except for the two days/month I should be certified clinically insane). They have cozy beds, painted rooms, great clothes, ample food, safe community and schools, advocates, teachers of faith, love, and grace, etc. They are supervised, questioned, disciplined, accounted for and rewarded. Many of these children who need homes just need to know they are safe. All children (and adults for that matter) are entitled to food, shelter, safety, and love. Do we all receive this? If we did...what would the world look like? Boulder County? Longmont?

My heart is certifiably broken. I am humbled beyond measure. I am floored by the hearts of people in our community. I am blessed to see the need and know that I can play a part, no matter how small, in making a difference. Am I scared? Yes. Do I know what I'm doing? No. Am I trusting? Yes. Is God faithful? Absolutely. Who knows where all this will lead, but I am excited and incredibly grateful, once again.

I have not fallen off the face of the planet!

Here are a few things I've been up to:

1. Ran the Denver Marathon October 17. Managed a 3:52, which was a tad too slow for Boston Qualification. Stressed a bit the next day about trying to qualify and the decision was made for me by 5:00 that night when Boston filled up in an unprecedented 8 hours. Oh well...can't say I didn't give it a fair shake. I was happy with my performance and let go of the BQ goal at about mile 16 when the pace began slowing. Sometimes it's important to be flexible. The marathon was a wonderful bridge for me after the Ironman...to come off the incredible accomplishment, but still have a goal.

2. Kids are all in school full time. I am happy with the schedule, but can feel a bit "unproductive". The feeling eventually passes and I get busy with kids at 3:30 for the next 5 hours every day.

3. I've been questioning a lot about my faith. I am 100% certain now that I am on the right path of grace and love. I am tired of Christians, frankly. I want to make a difference for Jesus in the world through love.

4. We are moving forward in becoming Foster Parents through Boulder County. Our first day of "training" is next week. I am very interested to see where we wind up with all of this. As in Ironman, I am getting more excited than scared. I cannot wait to meet our new "peeps" soon.

5. Hopped in the pool for the first time in two months. I swam 2400 yards and it was awesome...looking forward to getting rolling again.

6. Starting Pilates this week with an instructor friend. I'll let you know what I think.

7. Considering my goals for next season. I'm thinking about shooting for sprint and olympic distance triathlons, one half ironman and running races, namely the half marathon distance.

8. Enjoying an easy week and contemplating painting.

I am feeling great after the marathon. My body healed and recovered quickly. It's so nice to have the fitness base that I do now. I am wondering what next season will look like. I would like to see some faster times with the shorter distances, since I've been focusing on such long distances. It is really neat to know that I can do a lot more than I give myself credit for!

Twenty Miler

Yesterday I had the wonderful privilege of doing my 20 mile run. Thankfully a dear friend joined me for the middle third, which made the whole thing much more palatable. Actually, I had a good time. I averaged a 9:20 pace, which I think is adequate to attempt a Boston Qualifier...we'll see. I am at least hopeful for October 17.

Running has been great, kids are great, everything is just clicking away at a nice little clip. Not much to report, just hanging on and doing my best to be a decent individual.

A New Leaf

So...hello....it's been awhile. Sorry about that. I just haven't felt very compelled to write, not much to say...at least not from the Triathlon end of things. I am still training for the Denver Marathon. Managed 16 miles yesterday early. It was a great run and I feel pretty good today. I did manage to eat my weight in food afterwards, but oh well.

The summer has ended well. The kids all went seamlessly to school. They are very happy, including my new full day Kindergartner. He is in Heaven...as am I. The days to myself are something I've not had for about a decade. Fortunately, I was warned by many a mother to relax into the new schedule because it is super easy to fill the time. My desire has been to get things done during the day (including a nap) and relish the kids being home at the end of the day. Some days are better than others, but I do see myself now as a mom that does best when I'm not always ON! I need my time to myself and with other grownups. I am so grateful that I don't have to work and that I'm not currently training for an Ironman. Been there, done that. Not forever, but for now it's perfect.

The puppy, Theo, is working out great. We have all adopted him and he us. He is fantastic and offers us much consternation and joy each day. We are very grateful he came into our lives when he did and has given us the grace and time to grieve our Maddy.

Running is such a wonderful thing right now. I was riding my bike...I stopped. I have re-entered the world of swimming also, just once a week. I need the simplicity. I need to just have shoes, my heart rate monitor, ipod and dirt roads. I needed about 5 weeks post Ironman to get back into it. Now it's just part of me! I am doing more running in the later morning, after the kids go to school, which is different. It's hot! That will all change soon, though. I'm curious what weather the marathon will bring...maybe the 80 degree temp training will pay off. I still want to qualify for Boston, but not holding my breath. If I get there...great. If not...no biggie. I will have made a solid effort.

We are on the cusp of some new things in our life as a family. I can't really talk about it here, but would appreciate prayers if you think of us. I am so grateful for the work God is doing in me and have seen new perspectives in my life since the Ironman. What an amazing way to learn His amazing faithfulness. He is so good to me.

Not feeling it...

So, in my return to "training" since Cd'A, I just assumed that three weeks off would be sufficient. NOT! My goodness. This is my second week of running, some cycling and one swim. I feel like I'm moving through cement, my heart rate is either super low or high....you name it. I don't want to be ungrateful or minimize my IM experience...but I feel like crap. Anyways, I'm not sure what to do about it and I'm not sure if I should even maintain the goals I've set. It just seems like maybe I need a break of more than 3 weeks.

It's weird how you can be completely on top of your game...feeling strong and fast and then just... blah. I don't get it, but I suspect my body is trying to tell me something. I will do my best to listen...or not. Maybe I'll just push through. I'll let you know.

Life is going well. Summer is moving along...some days it seems at molasses pace. Many days, we hunker down during the heat of the day and come out at night. Even the puppy sleeps all day and resumes his silly antics in the evening when the edge is off. Kids return to school in three weeks. I am REALLY trying not to fantasize too much...but the thought of having the time to myself gets me all giddy inside. I don't want to wish the days away, but I do.

Bitter and Sweet

Today is a day I have been dreading, but knowing it would come sooner than later. Our wonderful dog, Maddy, needs to be put to sleep. Her decline has been steady up until now, it is clear. She has been a steadfast, patient presence in our lives since before having children, 11 years ago. She is a blessing, a running partner, a supporter, a tolerator, for all of these years. I am so grateful to have had her in my life and will miss her large body and spirit as she heads to Doggy Heaven. I pray for the ability for my kids to grieve and for Eric and I to be an example in this. Remember that movie from awhile ago? The one with Sally Field and Michael J. Fox who are the voices to the two dogs and cat traversing the countryside looking for their owners? Well, the Golden Retriever voice is the voice I've given to Maddy in female form. I imagine she talks to me in her head in the voice of Maya Angelou...a calm, authoritative tone that offers insight and protection. We have been through pregnancies, births, sleepless nights, babies, toddlers, sassy tweens, snowstorms, thunderstorms, heat waves, new businesses, graduations, new homes, new and old neighbors, 5 marathons, many triathlons, and Ironman. There is nothing like a beloved pet to mark the passing of time and major life events. I know she has loved unconditionally. She has been my partner in life and I haven't always been the nicest of housemates. There is nothing like a beloved pet to mark the passing of time and major life events. I know she has loved unconditionally. I will miss you Maddy-girl.



On the sweet side, we acquired a new puppy just Tuesday. He is a love and a bundle of sweet, exuberant energy. I know this will make the transition easier for all of us. His name is Theo, he's a Portuguese Water Dog and 4 months old. I am so grateful for him and believe he will bring us to the next stages of life: all kids in school full-time, middle school and high school years, graduations, drivers' licenses, and a whole host of other things I cannot imagine. We are blessed and grateful for this little guy.

A heavy week, for sure. It will be a day of sadness, remembrance, gratitude and laughter...the whole gamut.

New Goals

I have to say that I have felt rather free these past three weeks. I have not done one lick of organized exercise, aside from painting. Our raft trip was wonderful, but as far as exercise goes? Well, let's just say, my bottom has been well used. We had a fantastic time, just one scary part, some rain, lots of sun, some frustration and lots of laughs. I love what Ironman has taught me. I know that when I hit a low point, a high point is right around the bend...thankfully. That way, I can wait in expectation and not be fearful.

So, onto the topic at hand. I have officially set new goals, although I'm not official enough to have signed up for them...yet. My plan is to do the Rattlesnake Olympic Distance Tri in August; maybe another sprint one in there somewhere...but my big goal is the Denver Marathon on October 17. I really want to qualify for Boston again, to run this Spring.

My favorite author (and unmet friend), Kristin Armstrong, is releasing her new book at Boston. She has challenged her blog readers to do their best to get there. So, I'm taking on the challenge. I have no idea what my running fitness is post-Ironman....but I figure with some intentional speedwork and diligence, I have a shot. Plus, I gotta say...marathon training sounds awesome right now, so simple, all I need is shoes. Amazing the change in perspective.

Feeling

Now that I'm nearly two weeks out from my Ironman, I want to return and let you all know what's going on in my mind and body. It has been a smooth recovery...nothing notable to report, other than incredible soreness after painting one day. What? Wasn't expecting it, but clearly my body is dealing with more than I'm willing to give it credit for. Actually, that's not true. I am incredibly grateful for what my body has done for me in recent weeks and months.

So, in my attempt to make good on some promises...I have painted two out of three of my kids' rooms. I've been telling them for 9 months that I would get to it, now I finally am and they are so grateful. Blue for Claire, green for Andrew, and grey for Brooks (next week).

Painting for two days straight has given me lots of time and opportunity to think about the Ironman and consider what is next. It's an interesting thing, processing something so huge. Here you have a year (since sign up) of wondering, worrying, processing, training, eating, learning, growing, transforming...then it's over, done, finished. I know it is a jumping off point, but still, it's difficult. I was warned and I knew it would happen, but it is still important to feel and process what is moving through my mind. I'm not attaching much value to my feelings, I just want to roll with them and discern the ones that need more time and attention. This is new for me. I used to put so much stock into my feelings and worry about my reactions. I now know it's normal, natural and part of the process.

I have also had to grieve some. Returning from Idaho has been like coming home from camp. I so wanted to come home, but part of my heart has stayed on Hayden Lake...the location, the experience, the time with my family. A little piece of me is still there and will stay. It was a miraculous time, filled with laughter, good conversation, time together, and an Ironman. What a gift. I know I will never re-create this...not that I won't set goals, maybe even do another, but there's nothing like the first. I am so grateful to the people who told me to smile and enjoy for it will go too fast. At mile 20 of the marathon, or 60 of the ride I didn't think that....but I do now.

So, what to do with these feelings? How do I move forward? Well, I still have two days before I will make race plans...I am requiring two weeks of myself. I do have some ideas, however, that will be revealed at a later date. Also, I did my IM early in the summer so I wouldn't have to be racing/training while the kids are home...so, again, sticking to my promises...I will begin by going on a raft trip. We are taking off this afternoon for 4 nights (3 on the river). I think it will be fun, but I know there will be moments where I will wish for my own bed and fridge. Oh well. One thing Ironman has given me is perspective. Sleeping three nights on the ground in God's beautiful country is certainly no biggie! I am looking forward to uninterrupted time with my kids and husband, floating on the river, hearing their banter, sleeping under the stars.

I feel so blessed. I feel powerful, alive and optimistic. I feel hopeful, peaceful and joyful. I feel excited, adventurous, and a little bit scared. I feel grateful. I feel loved. I feel cherished. I feel alive!

Ironman Coeur d'Alene 2010 Race Report: Post Race

After the finish, I was held onto by a volunteer, asked questions as to where I was, took a couple pictures, went to the finish area for a few bites of pizza and Sprite. My stomach was on edge, so I was very tenuous about putting a lot in. I sat down, stretched some, nibbled.

Once I felt stable, we walked about a half mile to the car. I was slow, but I think it was good for me.

We made it back to the house, I showered...got in my new PJs that my lovely sister sent, knowing I would need some "recovery" clothes after my body was broken. Trevor made delicious hamburgers, which I was able to get down. I went to bed and slept somewhat fitfully because of soreness.

I barely walked on Monday, wasn't very hungry. I am so grateful we didn't fly out that day. We didn't need to leave until Thursday.

Since the water was 83 steps from the house, I had to be very intentional about trips up and down the steps. Honestly, though, I've been much more sore after marathons than this.

I sat on the boat, didn't do much, laid on the couch, took a short nap...all in all a perfect "post race" day.

My dad is a pastor, so we had arranged for my older two children to be baptized in the Lake. We had a lovely homemade service with one brother on the guitar, the other on the flute while we sang "Amazing Grace" together on the dock. My dad said a few words, we prayed. It was wonderful and perfect in every way! There is not much better in the world, as a parent, to see your kids starting off right. We shed a few tears and had some laughs.

The boys and AC left on Tuesday. I was so sad to see them go, but they all have lives and needed to get back. The rest of us toured Riverfront Park, and my parents and I drove around Spokane to see the places we used to frequent when we lived there (I was 6-12). It's funny the things I remembered. Much of the city was unchanged. We walked through the church and the neighborhood...saw my elementary school and where we shopped and played. Lots of fun memories.

We visited friends in Priest River on Wednesday, drove around Northern Idaho, taking in the beauty. Left for home on Thursday. Said goodbye to the house, the cove, the community. It was rather bittersweet.

I can totally see now why people do this IM thing more than once. It is magical in so many ways!

Ironman Coeur d'Alene 2010 Race Report: Race Day!!

I woke up at 4:00 A.M. My mom was already up brewing the coffee...bless her. I was not ready to get up, I actually slept great, contrary to popular opinion.

I drank a mug of coffee, had some hot cereal and milk...I calculated my breakfast at around 600 calories. I really wanted to make sure I got it in. Sipped Infinit through the morning.

Our minivan was full with my firstborn, parents, brothers, Eric and myself. Eric's parents kept the other kids in their RV for the night which was closer to the race. When we all get together, it's hilarious, so I listened to the banter and laughed a lot on the way to the race.

Eric dropped all of us off while he went to find a parking spot. I got body marked, piled my bike with nutrition, dropped off Special Needs bags, stood in the potty line, watched the pro start, donned the wetsuit. I wanted to get in the water for a bit of a warm up. I had done a short swim in Hayden Lake earlier, but had not yet stepped foot in Cd'A Lake. It was a beautiful clear morning, water was pretty calm compared to what I had heard about previous years...learned later that the temperature was only 51 degrees...10 degrees colder than my home reservoir. I got in, did a little out and back and kind of freaked out...just a little one. I came back to my family and told them I was going to hang back and take the swim slow.

The Swim

I realized that if I went to the outside, I would be swimming a lot farther than necessary, so I found a spot smack dab in the middle. Everyone else around me looked just as freaked as me, so I figured I was in a good place. We nervously chatted and laughed. I suggested we all make a pact to be gentle and not swim over one another. The girl behind me was totally good with that, she said, as long as she could draft off me...totally fine!

The cannon went off and immediately the calm came. I walked to the water, saw an opening and started swimming. I took it easy...couldn't really go crazy...we were all touching. I swam much of the first length with my head up. There was a lot of contact but nothing scary or damaging. My breathing was under control, I tried to sight, but it didn't really matter...I was just being carried along. We all converged on the red turn buoy and everything came to screaming halt. Basically everyone showed up at the same location, at the same time, and all many of us could do was tread water and be carried along. It was interesting, but I kept my wits about me.

The return to the shore was rather uneventful...still lots of contact, but it started to become fun. I exited the water, heard 36 minutes...better than I expected. We were corralled on the sand, to the next lap. I commented to a guy next to me that I didn't want to do that again (as far as the craziness), so I took it wide and swam on the outside the next lap. I think I went too far out, because it took some time to make it back to the turn buoy. Anyways, I took it tighter on the turn and last stretch in for the finish.

T1:

Exited the water, felt a little woozy from the water. Went to the wetsuit strippers, had it peeled off in no time, grabbed swim to bike bag, went to change tent. I took everything intentionally, didn't really race through. I knew I had a long day ahead of me and the last thing I wanted was to forget something essential. I nibbled a Power Bar while my volunteer helped me get everything on. I wore my bike shorts and a tri top and sports bra under my wetsuit. I meant to take off the tri top, but learned later, that I forgot. I donned my Blue Sky bike jersey, put on my socks and shoes, found my Garmin but forgot my chest strap. So much for knowing my heart rate. Oh well. I kind of expected something like that to happen. Got sunscreen on, drank a cup of water, grabbed my bike and got going.

I saw my family right away and made sure to smile lots through town. I felt good, kept my HR under control, went out for the first dog leg. My nutrition goals were to drink Infinit every 15 minutes, consuming one bottle per hour; eat a banana when I could get it in; PBJ at mile 60 or so; Powergel at 20, 40, 60, 80, 100; and lots of water. I felt great, just took it easy on the hills. My coach said I could ride in zone 3 and power up the hills into zone 4. I KNOW I wasn't in zone 3 very much. I think I mostly rode in zones 1 and 2. For my first IM...I really wanted to finish up strong. I didn't want to leave it all on the bike and "make it" through the run. So, I held back on the bike...probably too much...but it's my least confident sport...so, you know.

The course was very hilly and it started to get hot. I just spun up the hills and tried to aero as much as possible on the downhill sections. It was rather tricky because of the bends and hairpin turns, where, for me, it's not safe to ride aero. I did the best I could while being careful. Everyone around me was cautious, too, so that made it easier.

I tried to be diligent about my nutrition, knowing this could make or break a day. I had to stop and go potty about 4 times, took off my tri top, stopped at special needs to reload my bottles, chain fell off around mile 40, made sure to be courteous and kind to the volunteers, and did my best to set myself up for a good run...that being my main goal.

Another main goal of mine was to not allow any self-defeating talk, the bike being the main place for this in my training. Whenever I started to "go there", I started thinking of my verse ("I can do all things through him who gives me strength"), or I ate something, or said an encouraging word to a passerby. I did my best to keep a smile plastered on my face at ALL times!

I got passed A LOT on the bike...had no idea about time because my GPS was turned off and I just didn't really want to know. I knew it was going to be longer than 7 hours, which I was really hoping for sub 7, but whatever. At this point, those ideas don't stick.

T2:

Finished the bike with a smile and a joke with my bike catcher. Grabbed what I needed from my bike (my trusty salt tabs and Advil), and headed to T2. The first few steps were interesting, but I had been warned about that. I knew my legs would come back. Changed my shorts, put on a skirt and cute pink top, added a hat, found my chest strap (in the wrong bag), put on my socks and shoes, reloaded the sunscreen, ate a gel, had water, went potty, and I was off.


The Run:

I saw my family again right away (wonderful!), gave my eldest a hug, lots of smiles. My legs felt great! My coach was adamant about staying in low-mid zone 2, so I just got my legs moving and kept it low. I don't think I could have done much more than that anyway, to be honest. My feet were present, which was a surprise. My nutrition goal here was to eat a Powergel every 4 miles, drink coke/gatorade at every other mile. I knew that all I had to do now was take it one mile at a time. I just ran from one food station to the next. I walked each aid station, haven't mastered the running and eating thing. I started with coke and it made me have stomach cramps, so I stuck to Gatorade and took in some chicken broth later.

The first 13 miles was pretty uneventful. There's a nice hill at the turnaround that I walked part of, then realized I had enough juice to run. I kept my pace even, tried to spot people I knew, encouraged where I could, smiled lots, said "thank you". I just ticked the miles off. I had no idea of time, so I went on HR and feel.

I saw my family around mile 14 and Eric ran with me for a bit. He said I had a strong swim, lost about 400 places on the bike and had already made them up on the run. He said to keep running because I could pick off a ton of people, who were just walking. I guess I really did pick it up, because apparently miles 14-21 I ran a little over a 9 minute mile. Amazing! At this point I started counting the people I was passing. I counted 150 between 14 and 24 or so. That was a good feeling. I stuck to my nutrition, did the hill, walked the stations and knew it was in the bag, while being respectful and knowing anything could change.

I started to get teary eyed around mile 24, chatted with a guy from Canada for mile 25, at mile 26 I made the turn, saw the downhill, the lights, the crowds, heard the voices and the cheering and knew I had it! I was an IRONMAN! I saw my family...smiled, cheered, raised my hands and finished strong!

Received a medal, tee shirt and hat! What an incredible day!


Total Time: 13:36
Overall Place: 1236/2090 (?)
Swim: 1:23
T1: 11:57
Bike: 7:11, 15.6 mph
T2: 9:19
Run: 4:34, 10:28/mile

Ironman Coeur d'Alene 2010 Race Report: Pre Race

We arrived into Spokane Airport on Thursday, June 24th. All of a sudden, it hit me. This was real. I was going to be doing an Ironman, didn't quite believe yet, that I would become one. Our flight was uneventful. I sat next to a man from Houston who was doing his second, his first being Brazil. He was very nervous (I was not nervous at all compared to this guy)...he had expectations...to break 11 hours. We talked the whole flight, he gave me tips, we chatted about our triathlon history. He was debating whether or not to do another IM that opened up in his community or the Boston Marathon. Since he already qualified, I told him to do that...it's so wonderful.

We managed to get to Hayden, ID pretty quick after the airport. No big deal. We were all starving, but knew we needed groceries, so did that.

Eric's parents met us at the house with my firstborn. It was great to see them, but again, starving and nervous. Not a great combination.

Our house was on Hayden Lake, 83 steps from the water. We were tucked away in a cove with all kinds of wildlife and greenery. It was remarkable. The beauty and landscape in the Northwest is so different than Colorado.

My parents arrived from California late that night. It was wonderful to see them and know that they were there for me.

My brothers, Trevor and Jeremy, came in from Chicago and California the next morning.

Friday, Eric and I arrived at Race Headquarters in Cd'A to pick up my race packet, get my transition bags, purchase some souvenirs and get last minute items. I wasn't too intimidated by what I saw, but I did sense the weight of what I had trained for and what I would be doing in two days. Went to a pre-race mandatory meeting that was unnecessary...arrived on time, but they started the meeting 20 minutes early. Oh well...I wasn't gonna win, just follow the people in front, I guess, and review my information.

We returned to the house to see my brothers. The house could not have been more perfect. It turned out to be my refuge, my place of reflection and rest in the midst of what what swirling all around and inside me. We went out on the boat, went fishing, watched the kids swim, ate dinner altogether. I was nervous, but everything else provided a great distraction and reminder of the important things in life.

Saturday, we returned to Cd'A to turn in my bike and transition bags. I love this because it provides so much less to do on race morning, when the brain leaves the body.

My dear friend, AC, showed up Saturday night from home. I told her she didn't need to come, but she insisted because no one else she knows has done anything this big...it was important to her. What a great friend. I am blessed.

I was very pensive on Saturday. Fear of the unknown, I suppose. I asked my brother what his take was on "nerves", since he's a musician, composer and performer. He said that they indicate he's alive, that he's doing something worthwhile with his life...as opposed to anxiety that has nothing to attach to, it's just a meaningless fear with no true root or anchor. I loved that...his insight provided great comfort for me. I spent some time in prayer, being grateful, seeking, praying that my day would be about glorifying God, about being reminded of his faithfulness. My training would have been impossible without him.

I went to bed at 10:00..a decent hour. Fell asleep rather quickly. Everything was in it's place...all I had to do in the morning was drink coffee; eat my hot cereal, peanut butter, banana and milk; pray for a poop and do it; get dressed; grab my gear and go.

Six Days!

Yikes. It's almost here. Weeks in my life fly by like nobody's business...so this will be here before I know it. Crazy. I have kind of forgotten how hard I've worked to get here. I had to re-read some of my journal entries this morning to remind myself that I have worked my a$$ off...almost literally (I wish). So, six days from now I will be just starting. My nerves will be done, I will be in the water fighting for my space. I will be doing my best to keep my heart rate down, to realize I have 13 (I hope) or more hours to go. I will be celebrating the start of one of the biggest days of my life...wondering what the day has in store. Wondering how God will surprise me next. I will be keeping the voices in my head at bay, by reminding myself of God's Word and his goodness. I will be swimming the best I can with 2399 other people...celebrating the opportunity to even be in such a beautiful place, doing something I love. I will be thinking about the remarkable gift this is to my children, for them to see their mom set a goal and achieve it, while working very hard to keep their lives as normal as possible. I will be thinking about my wonderful husband and his generous heart and great love for me. I will be thinking about breathing, about swimming, about defending my territory...not about biking or running. I'll have plenty of time to think about those.

I am going to start packing my stuff today, particularly the things for Race Day. I want to rest my mind about needing to remember this or that. I am floored by how much stuff is required to do this sport (and how much money is invested). I will pack my kids tomorrow, get meds for the dog, arrange for feeding of the minor animals, return library books, cancel mail delivery, clean house (kind of), and the myriad of other things that will occur to me.

We fly out on Thursday. I cannot wait to see my family...to enjoy their company. We are staying away from the race venue, so hopefully I can rest and relax a bit beforehand. We will see!

Thank you to all of you for your support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers. I am so blessed to have the people in my life that I do.

Taper Week One: Down

So, I have succumbed to the typical "Taper Week Drama". Fortunately I am getting great rest, if you count falling asleep at 9:30, rising at 5:00, with a little nap squeezed in somewhere. I'm still jumbly, dealing with equal parts fear, amazement, excitement, worry, anxiety, gratitude, hope. I am thankful, however, that I have been a decent human being to the people I love the most. It did help that a couple of them were at camp and another one is leaving tomorrow...but, what the hey.

My in-laws are here, with the 5th wheel to haul my eldest, my bike and other goods that I don't want to take up space in my suitcase. It is all becoming more and more real, that in a week from today I will be in CdA, probably have my packet and goodies, hopefully resting beside the lake with nothing better to do than take in Northern Idaho. Or not...who knows?

I am rather random...not much to report. Did a few workouts this week, two swims, a brick, two runs...will attempt another swim tomorrow and maybe another bike, but not sure. My body feels alright..not fantastic. Have some soreness when I swim in my shoulder and a little in my left quad. The niggles don't seem to be stopping me, so I guess I'm alright. My brick this morning (25 ride/3 run) was irritating. I got some stuff for my bike to carry all the goods and it didn't work out so well. Glad I know it now and not race morning. That would stink. I'm trying to think of everything and keep lists. I think I have a decent nutrition plan figured out, but you never know what race day will bring, so I will be flexible. The nice thing about these Ironman races is they have a plethora of choices at the multitude of aid stations, so if what I have isn't workin'? No biggie.

Other than that? Just cruisin'. I'm very curious to see how all this is going to turn out.

The verse I've been meditating on for the week is: "Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3

Jumbly

It's my first taper day. I can now see why people might struggle through the taper. All of a sudden there's no focus on big workouts or fitting this or that in...it's done. A wonderful thing to celebrate, but now the focus is on the race...the day...the big deal. Here I am reading blogs of others' experiences, finding tips, re-reading the notes from my coach...trying to figure out how to make it a perfectly executed race. Well, the reality is...there is no such thing. I will do the best I can with my knowledge, with my training, but to assume the day is going to be perfect? Can't do that. I am oscillating back and forth between, "I don't care if it takes me all day...I just want to finish" and, "I wonder if I can get this or that time". Does it really matter? I'm not going to win. If I "race" I might feel awful, but if I don't I may wish I had. I think the best approach for me is to have everything in place, to the best of my knowledge, follow my nutrition plan, listen to my bod, keep a smile on my face and have fun. How many times will I ever get to do this again? Maybe never.

Everything in me feels jumbly. I remember this time before my Half Ironman last year. The couple weeks before were a bit of a disaster for the children in my life. I guess it goes to show that it all does matter to me. I do care about this race and its outcome. I can plan to the best of my ability, but the reality is, anything can and will happen. Do I worry about it? Yes, but I'll try not to. I trust in my training and the experiences of others. This is what risk is about...it's calculated, but at some point I have to let go.

Welcome to a well lived life!

Tapering

I am finishing off this week nice and strong. It started out a bit on the rocky side, but now I feel like I have my feet, arms and pedals under me.

Yesterday, before our crazy weather, I was able to complete my final long workout - a 70 mile ride and 3 mile run. I managed a 17 mph average, which is huge for me. I really tried to stay solid in zone 2, as I have a tendency to ease up and ride in high zone 1. Why? I don't know. I just wanted to push it today while maintaining my nutrition plan. It paid off well and felt great for the run. The day was beautiful with clouds hovering over the mountains, filtering the sun. These are the days that make all of this worth it.

Today, I swallowed my common sense and went swimming at Union for about 4 laps. It rained all night, and this morning the water was very choppy. I knew that "The Day" could easily be these conditions, so I sucked it up and swam. I actually found it fun breaking the waves on the way out, rolling with them and being carried on the way back. I try to wonder what race day will be like and how I will manage, but I can't know until I get there. Thankfully I've had all kinds of weather to combat and enjoy, so I can't say I haven't experienced it all. I am grateful for all of those rough, windy, snowy, rainy days even though I detested them at the time.

I am really getting excited. Two weeks from tomorrow and I finish this journey of becoming an Ironman. So hard to believe. One year ago, I would have never imagined it!

Now officially begins Taper. So happy!

Power

Thank you to all of you who read and weighed in on my previous post. These are all things I must process to move on more fully in this journey. I appreciate your insight and encouragement.

Things are very good on the homefront and I am getting so excited about culminating this journey. My fear is starting to wane and the anticipation is taking it's place. I am so fortunate and blessed to have this opportunity and I am done minimizing it with fear, worry, doubt and trepidation. This Ironman is something to celebrate, to claim, to be humbled by, to rejoice in, to see prayers answered, to see God's work. I no longer want to cower or shy away from this incredible accomplishment.

I was reminded in my prayer time this morning that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work in us...it lives in me (Ephesians somewhere). How can I go on being afraid? Of anything? God is enough...more than enough.

I am so very grateful this morning for God's clear direction, timing, and grace. What an amazing gift, to seek Him and know Him.

The Good Wife

Alright. In typical "Jentrainingforanironman" fashion, I have something to process with all of you...once again. This is how it seems to be for me. When training gets difficult in my head, there's some Truth that needs to come out on the page in order for me to move forward. So, here it is...I will do my best to be coherent.

So, when IM training started I was really concerned about how my relationship with my kids would be affected. I know I was concerned on some level for my marriage, but not really as much. Now, the rubber meets the road...and I must say, most of this is in my head (I think), but I still need to utter it on paper (or screen). I seriously, only have one week left of "serious" training, then starts taper. I am at mile 23 of a marathon...so close yet, still, so far away. Yet, I am feeling guilty or concerned because I am not able to spend the QT with my husband that we have grown accustomed to. Yes, our marriage has been a series of peaks and valleys, like any relationship. It just feels when we're in a valley that it's gonna take a while to climb out. It never does, it just means we've allowed some patterns (namely busyness) to get in the way. Unfortunately, I have three weeks before an Ironman. I know it's not that long in the scheme of things, but it feels long, especially when Eric and I are "not quite right". Do you know what I mean? It's hard to live with the person you love the most in this world being "not quite right". There's just this looming, unnameable sense of something wrong. I hate that. Nothing I can do or say will really fix it, it's just this thing. I know it's Ironman training, it's fatigue, it's summer schedule and not sleeping well, it's "I need to train so you have to watch the kids and not do the things you want to do", it's "I'd love to spend time with you at 10:00 PM, because the kids are finally in bed, and....snore". I try and try and try, but nothing I can do will make it right until June 27th is over. We both know it and accept it, yet it doesn't make it easier. I still feel awful and he still feels a bit neglected (I assume).

So, how does a woman, a wife, a mother, a person who always is responsible for the feelings of others, move forward in light of this information? I know, at this point, that signing up for another Ironman would definitely be the wrong thing to do. I am grateful for this opportunity, I am grateful for my husband, kids, God, body, friends. But, I know that the grace given to me by these entities won't sustain another nine months at this rate. I am not the kind of person to say, "Screw it" and do it anyway. I am highly sensitive to what I perceive to be going on around me and I have a very hard time putting things upon my people. As women we have so many wonderful opportunities available to us, but again, I'm learning everything has a trade off...every decision one way or another affects something else. I have a goal, something else has got to give. It's figuring out how to weigh those trade offs and move forward the best we can, trusting in a God who knows far more than we do. If I didn't feel a sense of calling to this Ironman, or a sense of purpose, seeing God's faithful hand, I think I might have chucked it awhile ago. Well....maybe not, but... you know.

I think I'm developing a new sense of empathy for the women who work, care for kids, maintain their marriages and their notions of self. It is a seemingly unmanageable balance. I am so grateful that I only have three weeks...what about a lifetime of this? I am in the deepest of awe and admiration for these women. My hats are off to all of you.

I feel better now that this is all out in the open. I don't know what I'm going to do about it except move forward and finish this thing up as imperfectly as I can. I do know that I need the morning off and will get in a swim tonight.

A Little Funky

I am in a mood of reflection today. Have been in a bit of a funk the last couple days, to the point where Eric asked if we could find a babysitter and go out to dinner. I don't know what the deal is, but I have a couple of ideas, maybe it's all or one...who knows...gotta love the mind of a woman.

1. PMS. I know Day 19 is the day where I should not call my kids on anything. It seems justified to me, but actually I'm entering "Crazy Land". Better to keep quiet and save it for tomorrow. I don't know why it's taken me to the age of nearly 38 to figure this out.

2. Ironman training...DUH. I'm tired. I'm ready for taper. I'm nervous about these last three weeks. I still have some big workouts, yet I feel like letting down. I am exhausted by 9:00 PM but up by 5:00 AM because of either a workout or the damn, chirping birds outside my window.

3. My birthday. Tomorrow, June 5. I'll be 38. Sometimes I get down on my birthday...don't really know why. Maybe because I've learned to not really care about it because of past high expectations (hate those).

Here are a few things I've realized today:

1. I can swim 4500 yards in 90 minutes...how awesome is that? I couldn't believe the workout I did today and felt great doing it. My body is so strong right now.

2. It occurred to me today in the pool (and actually brought tears to my eyes). I am doing an Ironman...actually, in my book I already am one...in my 39th year. I have made it to 38. My Mom died when she was 37, so maybe part of the significance of my birthday is making it. I suppose that every person who has lost a parent has a rough time when they reach and surpass the age of that parent. Another thing...Coeur d'Alene is significant. My last memories of my Mom were when we lived in Spokane, she died shortly after our move to Southern California. This will probably really hit me at mile 18 of the marathon.

3. My kids and I have made it through the first full week of summer vacation together. We are all alive, they are happy, I am too.

Tomorrow, on my birthday, I get to ride 45 miles and run 9. It's long enough that I'm kind of dreading it, but know it's a totally possible workout. Hopefully I can get out early enough to avoid some of the heat.

Sunday I am volunteering for the Longmont Triathlon. I love volunteering at races and NEVER feel like I'd rather be doing it. Isn't that weird? I love the excitement of the day without the nerves. Plus, it's super fun to help out.

Much much much love to my brother running his first marathon in San Diego on Sunday. Go get 'em Jeremy. It will be wonderful.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Getting excited to become an Ironman..I never thought this day would come. It always seemed so far away, now I'm only 3.5 weeks out. We leave three weeks from tomorrow.

Monday was a 14 mile run, which involved some z4 and z5 work. Once that was done, I had a trudgefest for about 9 miles. Really tired. I did it, but my pace kept growing slower and slower. I spent the rest of the day whining in my head, but doing my best not to utter it.

Tuesday involved riding about 20 miles with the group and a 2000 yard swim at Union Reservoir. I was very grateful for the swim because as I kept going the water got more and more choppy. I think it was great experience for the choppiness of Lake Coeur d'Alene. I know now that if I "have a moment" in the water I can draw from this particular workout.

Today was a 4.5 mile run with TC. So good to chat and pass the time thinking about things that matter. I was definitely tired and hungry today. In about an hour I'm heading to the rec center for a 3500 yard tempo swim. I really hope I feel OK.

I am definitely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but my body is tired. The kids are home now, so there's just a lot more "hands on" stuff with them. Oh well. Just a week and a half left before the Taper!!

120 mile ride/5 mile run

I.DID.IT...I.DID.IT...I.DID.IT!!!! I did the thing I have been fearing for 11 months when I signed up for this crazy journey of Ironman. I rode 120 miles yesterday. I cannot stinkin' believe it. Amazing!! The day could not have gone better. I was able to ride with a couple of friends at different points in the day...the first was for two hours first thing, then for 40 miles in the middle. At the end of the day all I had left was 2 hours by myself. The weather was fantastic...in fact, the minute I pulled into my house after running for 5.5 miles, the thunder started...could not have been more ideal.

I am so incredibly grateful to God this morning. I received texts through the day from two friends who said they were praying for me..which I seriously felt. I just believed I was being perfectly protected and guided along. Incredible! God has just been so remarkably faithful in this whole journey...every bit and piece. I am not perfect, but he has truly provided and directed my paths. What an amazing thing to experience.

So, I went 125 miles total yesterday and IM is 140.6...I definitely had 15 miles left in the tank (well, maybe not, but...). I was on the road for 9 hours total...including breaks...from 7 'til 4. Great practice for the Big Day! I checked my time at mile 112...and it was sub-7 hours at 16.2 mph! Wow, if I can do that on Race Day, that would be so awesome. I didn't think I had a shot to break 7 hours on the bike...we'll see.

We topped off the day with a very fun night which involved eating nearly an entire pizza at Rock Bottom, by myself. Then we went to see the new Shrek movie in 3D...highly recommended. Followed by sleeping in the car the whole way home and promptly getting myself into bed. I was exhausted!

I am floored, amazed, proud, tired, incredulous, grateful, humbled, honored and HUNGRY! Thank you to all of you for your support, encouragement, and votes of confidence. I hope I have the opportunity to do the same in return.

Tired!

It's the first day of summer and I'm already beat. I'm supposed to do a tempo ride today and the kids are home, Eric's gone, babysitters are all sleeping in, so I'm declaring a day off. I will ride and swim tomorrow, do my long ride Saturday or Sunday. I want a shower and I don't want to sit around waiting to go...so I'm making my decision. Thought I'd let you all know.

Race Report and 20 mile Run

I went into Sunday's race with a few nerves, but mostly I wanted to just test things out...see how my body felt, how the water was and how I was in the water. The first race of the season is always tricky because there's this unknown of how I will perform. I always err on the side of high expectations (which I've learned after 3 kids to start out low and build up gradually), just because I've been training so hard through the winter. I do want to say, before I start my report, that the best part of the triathlon world is the family it becomes. After 4-5 races every year, you start to get to know more and more people and every race is kinda like a party. It is really fun.

I got there just in time, set up my area, mingled with pals, looked around and wondered if I had everything. I tend to be a minimalist by nature, so my transition area always looks a little bare compared to those around me. And being the first of the season, my brain is not in transition mode. Anyways, I sauntered to the water...very slowly...think lots of rocks and no shoes. My wetsuit is always a wonder to me, how in the world to get it on and be comfortable. I got it on with the help of friends and did a "warm up" swim. The water was COLD...61 degrees apparently. My face was numb and it was very difficult to breathe in a controlled manner. Swam for about 7 minutes then popped out and chatted with more friends.

We were the last wave...all the ladies over 35...it's always nice to be last when it's chilly because the weather warms up and you don't get pummeled by a bunch of fast guys in the water. I did fine, controlled my breathing, then on the back stretch got a bit cocky and tried to draft. I wound up with a bunch of water in my mouth instead of air and mildly freaked out. Side note: last year I had a moment in a tri where I nearly quit because of not being able to catch my breath. It really took the wind out of my sails for the season. So, I talked myself down...I started swimming slowly and regained my breathing and confidence. Finished strong with a 13:48 for the 750 meters.

Ran to transition, somehow managed to get the wetsuit off and get all my gear on for the bike. Cruised the bike course, could have gone much faster but didn't. I think I need to start wearing my heart rate monitor for this portion because I just lolly gag. Oh well. 20.1 mph for 12.4 miles.

Run went great...I just stayed in zone 4 (I think)... averaged 7:45 minute miles and kept my head clear of the negativity by using the verse again, "I can do all things through him who gives me strength". Every breath, one word. It works wonders and keeps the icky talk from getting in there.

I placed 5th in my age out of 29ish. A good day. Goal met: practice swimming in freezing water and keep my wits about me. So all in all, success.

Today, I managed a 20 mile long run. I did 4x1 mile zone 3 repeats to start. My times are getting slower not faster on those, but I figure with racing yesterday...whatever. I felt good until about mile 17 then the wheels nearly fell off the bus. I slogged the last 3 miles through the wind and stolen Gatorade bottle (Grrrr...I planted it on the route so I could have something for the last bit). Times were much slower with the wind, but, again, whatever.

This week will be interesting with end-of-the-year festivities and Eric possibly traveling. I'll do my best. Just received news that my grandmother is in the hospital...doesn't look like she's got much longer. So, may be planning a last minute trip out to California soon. Coach didn't figure "grieving" into the training plan. Hmmm....it will be interesting to see what that looks like.

I'm excited about the race tomorrow...wondering what I can do. Honestly, I've done hardly anything this week. I planted. Andrew and I got seeds into the ground and cleaned up the dead from last year. I have been trying to treasure these days as he's headed off to "real school" next year. My last little one. As excited as I am for him (and for me), it's a bit sad. So, we've spent our time enjoying the yard and each other, when he's not being annoying.

I have five weeks until Ironman. I know the next two weeks are gonna be HUGE, but that's it. Man, the time has really flown and I'm just thrilled and grateful to have this amazing opportunity.

I'll let you know how tomorrow goes.

Race Week Weirdness

In my preparation for the Summer Open Triathlon this weekend, I basically get to do nothing all week...well, not really nothing but it kind of feels like it. I rode the trainer to Desperate Housewives yesterday...55 minutes, ran for 50 minutes this morning with a friend, and swam for 1000 yards just now. All workouts I have felt heavy, tired, and broken. I am constantly amazed (although I don't know why, because I seem to keep relearning the same truth) how one week I can feel so strong and unstoppable, and the next completely toast. I guess it's the way we maintain humility and balance.

So, I am hoping I don't look and feel like a manatee on Sunday. Hoping my body is healed by then, my training kicks in and my mind is kind. If not Sunday, then June 27th. I'm not gonna be greedy.

Week #32

I am breathing a sigh of relief this early Monday morning. Usually I approach Mondays with a bit of trepidation as I see the week of training, life and family laid before me with uncertainty and a bit of anxiety as I wonder how in the world it's all going to fit in place. Well, today is a bit different. Next Sunday I am doing the "Summer Open Triathlon", a local sprint race. I just want to make sure my gear is in check and I remember how to swim in a wetsuit in some seriously COLD water. It will be a good tune up for Ironman. So, that means this training week is super easy. I'm actually giddy about it! It will be nice to have some of the aches and pains subside and just "be" a normal person. If that's possible.

Last week ended awesome! On Thursday I did an easy ride with a friend...I just didn't have it in me to do any zone 4. I needed conversation and external motivation. Thankfully MB could ride and we went later in the day with the rain. It was great. Friday was my 3850 yard swim. I rocked it. It was so awesome. I am feeling so strong in the water and I had a fantastic go of it.

Saturday....my monster brick...70/16...the biggest one I'll have to do...the thing I've been fearing since day 1 of training. Wow! The weather was perfect, looked like it was going to rain the whole day, but didn't. I started out at 8:00, decided not to do any major climbs, just wanted to maintain a solid pace. I went south into Boulder and north to Loveland, managed 16.8 mph for the ride...that's pretty fast for me. I wanted to see if my running legs would be okay after pedaling harder...it was a bit of a test. Once the ride was over, I was not excited to run for 2.5 hours, but knew I didn't have a choice. I lose feeling in my feet while riding, so I was curious how many miles it would take for the feeling to return. It takes about five. I did 6 miles of zone 3 work, took it one mile at a time. It's funny, after being out there that long, the miles just tick by, one...two...three...four...five. The last 2-3 always are a trudgefest for me. Finally, my 7 hour day was over.

Once I got home, stretched, drank chocolate milk, took a shower, packed...we piled in the car and headed to Salida where we spent Sunday rafting. It was a perfect end to a tough two weeks!

Peaceful Detachment

This week is shaping up nicely. Here's what I've done so far:

Monday: easy 1700 swim
Tuesday: 2900 tempo swim (rocked it!!!), 5 mile run easy
Wednesday: 18.5 mile run (snowy, cold, muddy and cold..did I say cold?)

Here's what I get to do for the remainder:

Thursday: 30 mile tempo ride
Friday: 3850 endurance swim
Saturday: 70 mile ride/16 mile run brick
Sunday: easy 20 mile ride

I feel like I can let my breath out...that long run was hanging over my head like a lead balloon. I just have been constantly surprised at my body, what I'm asking it do and what it's doing. For instance, my swim yesterday. I did a bunch of zone 4 100 repeats in 3-5 seconds faster, than in the past...even after the strain and stress of training. It really is amazing me to no end. And then...to be able to run 18.5 miles today (although it wasn't my fastest, but who cares) after running 17 on Sunday. Again, amazing.

I almost feel like I'm going through a bit of detachment with this training. Like, I'm just not thinking about things so much. Don't get me wrong, I still get concerned and wonder if I can do it, but I'm just not as afraid. I think I just know it's a matter of putting in the time and getting it done and if I can't do a workout for whatever reason, is it really going to make that much of a difference at this point? There are some I really think are crucial, especially in confidence building, but I guess I am feeling peaceful. Nice. I like that place.

So, with all that said, and all that is done for the day (plus it's only 9:45 AM)...I am sipping warm coffee, in my sweats and slippers, gonna catch up on some shows. I'm calling it a "Mental Health Morning".

Check Mark

I can finally put a gigantic check mark on the week and recycle the schedule. My goodness. With the drama of the car accident, I got to move my 17 mile long run to this morning...Sunday...Mother's Day. Today was the first time I've done a long run after a full training week...especially this training week. I could not have asked for a more beautiful morning, no wind, cool temperatures, balloons in the sky. I love running on Sunday mornings, because when I get to church I feel so good, clean, and accomplished. My heart and mind await in expectation for the message and worship. God is wonderful to me.

Yesterday I was supposed to do a 31 mile tempo ride. I did the 31 miles but not the tempo part. Fortunately, I made a new friend on the road and we did the majority of the ride together. He was truly a Godsend, because I was starting to go downhill fast in my head. I do love my thoughts and myself, but sometimes they turn on me...especially when I'm not feeling so good.

Today is a delightful celebration of all that I hold dear...my family. I am a fortunate soul with a loving, caring husband and kids that are healthy and full of life (sometimes too much). As I walked in the door after my run, they had already gone to Egg & I to fetch me a yogurt/fruit sundae and muffin. Yummity yum. What a treat after 3 hours on the road.

Looking forward to church, lunch and hopefully a good, solid nap.

Week #31 down...only 7 left. Amazing!

100 mile ride

I have completed my first century bike ride...never done before. I was so nervous leading up to it, especially with the crazy start to the week. My Monday turned into a rest day and my Tuesday turned into Monday. I started the week off with a tempo swim just to be easy before jumping into the motherlode workout for Wednesday.

My approach for the day was to treat it like a job. I figured I would be out there for 7 hours, so might as well just settle in and take it easy. I wanted to get lots of hills in because the IM CdA course looks very hilly to me. I started at 9:00, just after dropping the kids off at school and took off for Boulder. I did the Old Stage climb and went on up to Jamestown. It is so nice to be able to accomplish both of those things. I know I didn't set any records, but I got them done. I headed up to Lyons after that and did the Fruit Loops, while taking a break to eat a PB&J, go potty, warm up my feet, and get some water. It was a nice reprieve and I love it when I can feel my feet. After that I rode up 75th to Carter Lake and went up and over that route, heading home the same way. I added a couple little loops, including circles in front of my house, just so that my odometer would say 100 even. It did. Went at a 15.3 mph pace...not my desired, but whatever, it's done.

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but if I had to, I could have gone farther. Thankfully I didn't. My schedule recommended a 5mile run after, but I ran out of time. I had to take a power shower and boogie to get the kids from all the places I had farmed them to after school.

I was told afterwards by a couple of friends that they had prayed for me throughout the day. I am so grateful. I felt like the day was ideal...weather was perfect, my body and mind were solid, my plan was flawless. I just knew I was being lifted up and this was the experience I needed to give me the confidence I need to finish up this training. As I was climbing the switchbacks to Carter Lake at mile 65, I prayed, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength". Every pedal stroke was a word. It was a wonderful way to keep my mind off of the climb and just get up the hill. I will do my best to remember that one!

Today was an endurance swim, another "easyish" day before finishing up the week with all the other stuff, including my long run. I just have to say how nice it is to have that workout behind me...YES!

Thoughts on a Gloomy day

Well, I was one-third of a mile into my 17 miler today and received another call from school. My poor little guy was in a car accident on his way to preschool with my friend and her daughter. Fortunately everyone's OK. A guy ran the red light at Airport Rd and Nelson and broadsided the car, just a couple feet from Andrew's door. He has a little bump on his forehead from hitting the window, but otherwise, seems fine.

Nothing like a close call to remind me of my priorities.

I shined my run for the day and called it...I don't need to be a super hero.

I am super grateful for God's Provision.

I love my life and the people in it.

Life can change in a split second...it's always good to be reminded.

Ironman is a great goal, but it is not defining me.

Tomorrow is a new day and I am praying for a better one.

Time to Face the Week

I've put this off long enough...time to get down and dirty with the next week. Week #31 baby...wow.

Here's the rundown of what I hope to get done:

Monday - 17 mile run
Tuesday - 1900 tempo swim
Wednesday - 100 mile ride/5 mile run (yes, you did read that right)
Thursday - 2400 swim
Friday - 8.5 mile tempo run/25 mile ride
Saturday - 31 mile tempo ride

I am switching things around because Eric has to do some work entertainment at the end of the week, into the weekend. So, if I can take advantage of the time the kids are in school, I will. I am anxious about Wednesday's long ride. I have never ever ever done anything like that and am thinking I may head up to Ward and do that whole drama. Still not convinced that it's the wisest idea by myself, but we'll see. I will never say never.

I feel great. Today's restful day was exactly what I needed. I am ready for the next two weeks. I have reached "Peak Phase". I love it.

Say a prayer, send happy thoughts...whatever. I can use them all.

Another Week Down

Here's to another one...down. It was a great stabilizer week. I really just tried to enjoy myself...did a couple workouts with friends...nothing like good conversation to help the time along faster. I just finished a 35 mile bike/8 mile run brick. It turned out to be a beautiful, calm morning. Again, I am so grateful I just went out, did it, and enjoyed myself and the beauty all round.

I am feeling good, ready to move forward and tackle another week. I won't write about it just yet...want to savor the rest of this day and tomorrow's rest. I will let you know what is on the docket later.

Enjoy the lovely weekend! Only 8 weeks left...deep breath.

Running to Stand Still...

....is not just a U2 song...it was my experience today on my attempted 9.5 miler, which turned into a 5 miler. You know in Colorado you're in trouble when the thermometer reads 71 degrees at 9:00 in the morning, in April. That means WIND. So, I thought, it can't be that bad. I have to say, I probably could have done it had I the fight in me. But, the fight is gone...it's on the road somewhere blowing around from Saturday. Since it's stabilizer...I figured I don't need to fight this week...I will muster it up and save it for the next two.

So, that's all I have planned for today and I'm totally OK with it. I have been diligent about my swims this week and those I will fight for, but the cycling and running? Not so much.

Victorious

I would jump up and sing a song right now, if I could get my rear off the couch. I did it! I mustered the gumption to get out in the uncertain weather (read: wind) and did my brick...all 60 miles of the ride and 13.5 of the run. I can't say I felt awesome, in fact, it was probably one of my most mentally challenging workouts to date. After the first 30 miles, I came home for a pitstop, to dump clothes and get more water. I was secretly hoping Eric would say, "You really should come inside, it is much too dangerous to be out there in these conditions." No, instead he said, "I know it's hard, but it will make you stronger." Of course he was right. I knew I needed to bust this out...outside. What if race day is windy? There's a good chance that it will be, for sure.

Now, I am pooped. I have no idea how I will get myself upstairs to bed...or my kids for that matter. I am soooo pleased it's over! Swim tomorrow? We'll see.


P.S. It was the most beautiful day EVER! I cannot believe the shades of green I saw today. God is so good and I am so glad to be a participant in it today.

Uncertainty

The one huge thing about IM training that I didn't really think about was the uncertainty. I had to take yesterday off because of the uncertain schedule...one thing after another, plus a sick kid. Today, do I bag the brick because I need to get the swim in? Do I move everything back a day and do the brick tomorrow? Do the swim today? Do the brick tomorrow after church or skip church? Save the swim for the afternoon or do it first thing in the morning? But if I swim in the morning and the weather looks good in the afternoon, should I still do my brick?

This crap is running through my head and has been for the last 3 days. I check the weather report over and over again, seeing if in the last 3 minutes it has changed in my favor. What if I have to ride indoors again? Will I be preparing myself well enough for Ironman? Am I copping out by not embracing the elements? Am I being stupid, thinking I'm a good enough rider to sustain weather and wind? AHHHHHHHHHHH....ENOUGH ALREADY! Sheesh.

Well, now that I've spewed my internal brain dialogue all over you...I apologize. My mind and I seem to be at odds most of the time.

I love spring weather...I usually can't get enough of it. Colorado weather is one of the things that drew me here. But, the uncertainty of it now feels like a curse. And now I'm being one of those super annoying people that whines about it...too hot, too cold, too windy, too sunny, too rainy. I don't want to be that person. This is what I get for signing up for an early summer race. It's OK. I want to get it over with so I can enjoy the fun summer with my family...that was the point.

Anyways, at this point my hope is to swim later and brick tomorrow after church. I have a stabilizer week coming up, so it won't throw much of a wrench into the next week of training, thankfully.

Thoughts on Zone 4

For those of you that are not triathletes, our coach trains with Heart Rate Zones. So, for a brief rundown, zone 1...super easy, could do it all day; zone 2...a little bit harder, most of training is here; zone 3...harder still, definitely doing work, but rewarding; zone 4...sucks, voices in the head, hurts; zone 5...saved for very short spurts, usually 100-200 meters (for running).

In the pool today as I had on the docket to do 20 x 75 yards in zone 4, which means that for three lengths I had to do back stroke, breast stroke and free all in zone 4 for each length. Twenty of them, divided with 30 seconds of rest. With this "almost mile" of zone 4 swimming before me, I was in a state of complete dread, as I am before most workouts that require me to be here. All of this leads me to sharing with you these thoughts.

Zone 4:

...is something I dread
...is very painful when running, particularly long distances of 1-2 miles in mid zone 4
...is required to become stronger and improve
...is very challenging for me mentally
...puts me in a bad mood, in fact, today, I was angry at it.
...is SUPER rewarding when finished...like pumpfistshighintheair rewarding
...hurts
...shows me what I'm made of
...tests me
...makes me wonder why the hell I am doing this to myself
...requires an iPod, preferably with Linkin Park, Black Eyed Peas, or anything that gets the mind off of the pain.

So, with these thoughts, I must expand my thinking for you. Without zone 4 pain in my training, I wouldn't see any growth, improvement or PRs set. I could coast along, happy, not worried, and just LOVE my workouts. However, would all the time spent in training be reflected come race day? I don't know, maybe, but not likely. Carry this over to life. How many times do I think that if I'm in a really hard phase, like kid problems, challenges in relationships, marital drama, times of personal discipline...do I think I must be doing something wrong if it's hard? Actually, moving through these sometimes, seemingly rocky or impossible times is what provides the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical muscle needed to move onto to the rest of life, to more full life. It may seem wrong when I'm in it, but maybe that's exactly where I need to be...right smack dab in the middle.

Now the mid-week rundown:

Monday's long run...done, good, lots of painful zone 4...grrr. Tuesday brought an easy swim (done) and easy ride on the trainer (done). Today's swim is over...all complete. Tomorrow will be a full day with somehow fitting in a run and ride...probably will be an early morning.

I am very grateful for this week. I feel like I'm able to breathe a little better after last.

Moving Forward

With all the drama in my head last week, I can successfully say "I did it". I made it through, muddling, crawling, whining, etc. and am now ready to tackle Week #29. My 80 something mile ride on Saturday turned into a 3.5 hour ride with Eric, for 50 miles, including a trip up to Jamestown. Then, we had some rain, so moved the next 2 hours indoors. That was a bit torturous...watched some documentary about the fashion industry (so not me), and pedaled my way to a 4 mile run. Brooks joined me on his bike. It was really fun to hear the rambling conversation of a 10 year old. It's amazing how much he thinks he knows but doesn't know. So, I spend a lot of time saying, "hmmmm" and interjecting my opinion quietly and graciously as needed (read: only when I'm stable or too tired to disagree, as in Saturday).

I am feeling stronger on my new bike, the aero position is coming more naturally. I am also learning that when I feel negative or angry, I need to eat...not sports drink, but real food. I found Mrs. May's Trio Bars at Costco. They are packed with yummy, nutritious things that provide sustenance. I also think I need a good ol' fashioned PB and J. For some reason I don't feel hunger on the bike like I do running...it's a whole different set of cues I need to start figuring out.

Onto this week:

Monday: 16 mile run
Tuesday: 22 mile ride, 1500 easy swim
Wednesday: 2650 tempo swim
Thursday: 7 mile run, 36 mile tempo ride
Friday: 3450 endurance swim
Saturday: 61 mile ride/13.5 mile run

Goals: 7600 yards swimming
119 miles cycling
36.5 miles running

So, here I am...on the cusp of my 16 mile run...tummy full...kids getting ready for school...wondering how I'm going to feel...and crazy enough to realize that 2.5 hours on the road is no big deal. Wow, what a difference a change in perspective makes.

Side note: Thank you to all of you who have provided encouragement, wisdom, insight and support into helping me figure out why the hell I am doing this. I know it will all be made clear come crossing that line. I am feeling much better about things! Thank you.

Deep Breathing

It seems, in my Ironman training, that I go for a period of time coasting, but then I reach a place where I need to do some internal work. This has been that week. I have come the realization (or maybe I knew it all along and wouldn't admit to it) that I am just plain scared. I am scared of what the next 10 weeks are going to bring, I am scared of race day, I am scared of the things I am letting go and compromising on to fit everything in, I am scared of not being what I feel I "should" be to the people that are most important to me. And to top it all off, I'm beating myself up for being scared. So, now I'm owning up to the fear. It's out there, I've labeled it, it's time to move on.

I shared this with my coach today and he is always so good to provide reassurance and encouragement. He said moving through this stuff is what makes the accomplishment that much sweeter. I didn't understand this fully until now. Now I can see why people become full of emotion and resolve during the event. As I've discovered in my training, NOBODY has a stress free training period. It's hard for everyone...fitting it in, having the energy, dealing with the mental breakthroughs, etc. What I am experiencing is typical for many, if not all, on some level. We all have expectations (both of our own making and those placed on us by others), setbacks, life stress and drama, people who are relying on us, bodily injuries and pains, to name a few. I have no idea why I think I'm the only one who struggles with this stuff, why I'm the one inventing the wheel, but maybe I need to have actual experience with certain things before they actually stick. I know things in my head but until I walk a mile in someone else's shoes, do I truly understand.

So, as far as training goes. I have completed the week according to plan, aside from my references in the previous blog post and shortening my tempo ride from 40 to 32 miles. I have an 80 something mile bike ride/4 mile run tomorrow. The weather may be iffy, so I am a bit up in the air about the whole thing. I really want to get it done tomorrow so I can fully take Sunday off and jump into week #29. I think I may have some people join me...we'll see.

Adjustments

Well, as smoothly as this week looked on paper, it hasn't turned out to be as such. Yesterday while all prepared for my long run, I got 5.5 under my belt at the local track with a friend, then my cell phone rang (normally don't carry one, but happened to throw it in the pack today). It was Andrew's preschool calling to say he was feeling sick, laying on the floor, crying. There was no way I could leave that poor child to suffer, so I busted it home, hopped in the car and picked him up.

So, the plan changed. Instead of my long run I amended it to my 11 mile tempo run, divided by 8 hours. I finished up with 5.5 in the evening with all the speedwork attached. I was happy to get that one done. Anything that requires zone 4 and zone 5 repeats I am relieved when it's over.

Today I got my tempo swim in, and was planning my easy ride outdoors tonight, but the wind is fiercely howling....so, another amendment to "The Plan". I will probably be indoors watching "The Biggest Loser", which is totally fine with me. Adjustments, flexibility, letting it roll...that is the name of the game this week.

I will keep you posted on how well I do with the rest of the week, while trying not to get blown away.

Yikes

My week is done, body feels better, very thankful and anticipating next week's build week. Aye yi yi! Here's the basic rundown...hopefully it will happen..looks like a possibility:

Monday: 14.5 mile run
Tuesday: 2150 tempo swim, 32 mile ride
Wednesday: 11 mile tempo run
Thursday: 40 mile tempo ride
Friday: 2650 swim
Saturday: 87 mile ride/4 mile run

Take a deep breath...you can do this!

Week #27 thoughts

This stabilizer week is passing by rather uneventfully. I have enjoyed two swims, two runs, a basement spin so far. Hopefully, if everything goes as planned I will head out on a 28 mile bike ride this evening. It is such a lovely day I hope to be able to ride in shorts and short sleeves..amazing.

I am so grateful my body is feeling well, things are chugging along. I have to confess, however, to some nervous anticipation of the final weeks of this training. Truly, I only have about 10 left, three or so of which are stabilizers, so that means 7 or so hard weeks. I know things are ratcheting up and I know that I will fit things in the best that they will. It is exciting. I am learning so much about myself in this process. How, I think it's human nature to want to anticipate everything before we take a step...but most everything worth anything is a journey of faith and trust. We can never figure out the whole picture before moving forward...we just have to know that it's in God's hands and he knows our hearts and desires. There are times, though, where he doesn't give me what I want. I start the process and it doesn't work out how I thought. Does that mean I've failed? Maybe, maybe not. But, have I learned something new in the process? Absolutely. Have I grown my faith? Yes. What if I don't become an Ironman? Well, I will certainly be disappointed, but it's unreal how much I have developed, changed, been challenged and trusted. I'm not saying that's the case...I have no idea, but I do know that I have a God I can trust in and he is faithful to make all things new.

Ha! Gotta love it. I love what is sitting at my fingertips needing to weasel it's way out.

Back to it

After my drama with my back last week, I stepped back to it today. I took Wednesday through Sunday completely off, even off from mothering for two of those. Well, Sunday I did a short run/walk just to see. This morning I ran 8 miles. My back was telling me it was there, but nothing more. I kept checking in and felt fine, so I just kept on truckin'. Came home, put some frozen edamame on the problem spot and went on with my day. I got all the kids where they needed to be and went for a swim. I was tentative, especially with my left side, but it all worked. Again, it told me it was there, but nothing major. I am so pleased. I was afraid that I was getting used to the "laying around" bit, and I definitely was, but it's time to get cracking again.

Our Spring Break turned out wonderfully. I was grateful to be injured on this week of all weeks. I could really be present with the kids and Eric, and not have to ride/run in the crazy wind we've had. In fact, I layed on the couch with a book and listened to it blow, without any notion of needing to be outside. It was wonderful. I am glad for the rest and respite, now back to training.

This week is a stabilizer, so I will ease into training again. Hopefully I can complete the prescribed workout schedule, but if I need to take a break, I will. No worries.

Thank you to all of you for your concern and prayers. Hopefully it's back on track from here.

Bummed

On Monday evening, while goofing around with the kids, I fell backwards and hit the edge of a flagstone bench with my back. I tried running and swimming this week, to no avail. I rode once and felt OK. Yesterday I took the day off thinking it would help alleviate some of the discomfort, but today I feel worse. I don't know what to do. I have a call in to a local physical therapist to see if maybe they can see me today.

I guess I'm just discouraged. I don't think I really mind the time off of training, but it scares me. I am trying to pray and know that God has this in his mind, too, but I can't help but be anxious. My coach said to just lay off, let it heal and I may even return stronger. I just know that my brain can go the wrong direction with this stuff.

Anyways, hopefully I can get some help.

On another note, it's Good Friday. Maybe in this time of rest it is a reminder of what Jesus did on the cross for all of us. In this time of discomfort and frustration, I can focus a bit more on the sacrifice made, rather than on myself for once. I know I will still think of "me" cuz that's what I do, but maybe I will be a bit more mindful today.

Quick Recap

Here I am again. Time is flying lately. I will first recap how last week worked out. I took Thursday off after a 10.5 mile run on Wednesday night. Kids were home all day Wednesday because of a "snow day" which really should not have been. Friday brought me to my long ride of 75 miles and a 3.2 mile run. I was so nervous and scared, but once I got going it turned out alright. I wouldn't say I felt "awesome" or "fantastic" but I did it and got it over with. My first steps for the run were ruthless and unknown, but once I got my feet under me I managed a nice little clip and kept it going. After my workout, shower, quick sandwich, I bolted to get Andrew from a playdate and the other two from school, then we busted a move to Glenwood Springs for the weekend.

Glenwood was fabulous. I canned the swim workout I didn't get in and used Saturday and Sunday to hang in the Hot Springs, play at the park, eat and just be a family. Aside from the tricky stretch on I-70 over Vail Pass...all was wonderful. We spent the majority of the day at the Springs and hotel pool..kids couldn't get enough.

This morning I eeked out a 13.5 mile run. I'm so glad that I did the first 8 with a friend. I was not feeling in it. I just got my monthly visitor (after 33 days, mind you...normally I'm a 24-26 day girl), so I'm tuckered from that and not sleeping well last night. I kept dreaming my child was getting abducted, so that shot the night of sleep. Oh well...at least I woke up before my alarm.

Hopefully with a little rest and recovery today, I'll be ready to hit the pool and a bike ride tomorrow. We'll see! I am onto week #26 already..only 12 more to go before the big day (two of which are taper, so really only 10). I cannot believe I am this far along...truly it is a miracle.

The kids and I are doing spring cleaning today. I bribed them...if they willingly cleaned their rooms with little involvement from me, I'd buy them something. Man, it got them hopping...we've been recycling and donating all morning. It will feel wonderful when that little truck comes by and hauls it all away on Wednesday...love that feeling!!

New Favorite

Here is a great interview of Ryan Hall


Enjoy!

The "Should Monster"

So, stabilizer is over. I had a sick child for a chunk of the week, so workouts were fit in here and there. I was grateful for the physical and mental break. On Saturday, Eric was out of town, plus it was cold and snowy outside, I found myself battling the "Should Monster". I have labeled this little voice in my head, he seems to sit on my right shoulder whispering things I should do...over and over and over again. The day really did not lend itself to much, with tired kids and a tired mommy. It was a perfect day to do nothing. However, I spent the majority of the day thinking things like, "I should find something fun for us to do". Or "I should ride the trainer, anyway." Or "You really should do crafts, play games, read, etc. with the kids". Or (this is the best one), "Other moms are way more fun than you are". Needless to say, I didn't want to do any of those things, yet felt like a loser because of that damn monster. Finally, I learned to live with it, knowing it would eventually pass. Plus I knew that two weeks of build were coming up and the s**t was really gonna hit the fan come Monday.

Well, in hindsight, I am so glad I ignored the voice. Turns out I was able to start my workout week on Sunday (because of taking Saturday off). The weather was perfect for a ride, so I got my tempo ride out of the way. And it looks like Friday I can do my long ride. Everything is working itself out for all of us to get away this weekend. If I had worked out (or run around like a crazy lady) on Saturday, none of this would have been possible.

Here's what Week #25 looks like:

Sunday: 39 mile tempo ride (check)
Monday: 12.5 mile run (check)
Tuesday: 90 min spin (check), 1200 swim (supposed to be 1900, but ran out of time) (check)
Weds: 9.5 mi tempo run
Thursday: 2400 swim
Friday: 76 mile ride/3.5 mile run (ahhh...scary)

I am just amazed at how this week is falling into place..offers for playdates and carpooling have been just Providential! I'll let you know how it all shakes out.

Emerging

I really like stabilizer weeks (now, not so much last time). It allows time and space for my body and mind to recover, refocus and reflect on where I've come and where I'm going. This week has been rather quiet. The workouts are mellow (or mellower), plus my daughter has been ill, so we've spent a lot of time at home. I have also experienced a very low grade stomach bug, so I am just resting and being present with her, as much as I can. Thankfully it is stabilizer, so I can do just that.

In my prayer time this morning I was reminded of my need for patience and perspective. It seems, in our culture, that these things get thrown by the wayside. However, I am finding in the Ironman journey that it's all about patience...it's going the long haul and seeing small, gradual improvements along the way. I am not talking totally about physical changes, although those are nice, but the mental and spiritual changes that will shape and move me for the rest of my life. The physical changes are evident, and I am grateful. The mental and spiritual pieces, though, are the foundation I need to live intentionally, meaningfully, purposefully, and lovingly. I used to think (until this morning, thank you God) that the Ironman was my ultimate goal, that it was what I was accomplishing. Now my belief is that it is the springboard for the rest of my life. I am changing so much as a person, a woman, a mother, wife and friend. My strengths, passions and desires are starting to emerge. I am seeing that I am more than what I do, but I am moved and shaped by God. His strength dwells in me and as long as I remain seeking, praying and growing in Him, He will do great things.

I have spent so much time trying to live the "Christian Way" (or what I've perceived it to be over the years). I am really done with it. I don't want to be demure, proper, or quiet. I want to speak my mind, to tackle goals, to live adventurously...taking risks and screwing up. I want to find what makes me alive. What is holding me down? What is keeping me from running the race that God has intended me to run? Where have I limited him, telling him he can't do that thing? Where have I put God in a box and labeled him?

I truly am amazed and impressed by how I am emerging. It is really nothing like I imagined...it is so much better. God is so good, he desires us to live fully and he wants to give us good things. I just have to remember that his ways are perfect and mine are definitely not!

Wrapping it up: Week #23

I successfully accomplished my week #23. I was thinking, going into the week, that it was going to be tough to get it all done, mainly because of my cold, but my body rallied and I finished with flying colors. I am awed by what my mind and body are achieving right now. It is rather remarkable!

My brick went very well on Saturday. I didn't start until 1:45, which is very rare for me. Usually, on the weekends (or most days), I'm taking my nap at that time. I was sooo nervous, my stomach was churning. I just had no idea what to expect with the new bike, attempting a ride I've never done before, and by myself. I hopped on my new ride and took off. Getting into the aero position was new for me, but all in all it felt so good, effortless really. I did get sore in places that I haven't known and new muscles were being taxed, due to the position change, but I was pleasantly surprised. I rode the Carter Lake Loop, for 46 miles, all by myself...amazing. Once I got to the lake, I had a moment and realized that I am the person, doing the things I always wanted to do. Wow. I cannot believe this is me. Just incredible!

When I started the run, I was a bit skeptical if I could do it all (10 miles), but I started in a nice zone 2 clip. After the warm up, I managed 3 zone 3 repeats, with a 2 minute walking break after each. It felt actually really good and did it in an overall pace of 9:20...good for me, especially after all I did before that. So, again, surprising myself seems to be the order of the day. I'll take it!

Stabilizer week coming up!

Eating Crow

I am working through something in my head this morning. I am not sure how to tactfully say it, so I will just say what's on my mind. I have a confession to make. Before training for this Ironman and realizing the commitment to get in workouts, make sacrifices, and push myself farther physically than I ever have, I was very judgmental. I used to hear about what people did in their workouts and be kind of snotty about it. I'm not sure where the reaction came from, if it was envy, or admiration, or just not understanding. Isn't that where our judgment lies? Not understanding? So, I apologize to all of you out there who have been on the passive receiving end of my judgment. Please forgive me.

It is rather interesting, now that I'm on this side of things. I understand the perceptions of others, since I've been there, certainly. But, it doesn't feel very good. It's not the random comment that bothers me, like, "You're crazy", but the quiet questioning. I may be reading into things more than I should, that's my way, so I am extending the benefit of the doubt. I am just glad that I have become aware, so I can check myself, when that little monster rears it's ugly head again, because it always does. I'm at the point now where I want to be proud and act like it, rather than sheepish and apologetic regarding my Ironman goal. I have no idea where I get this, but I am tired of it.

On another note, I received my bike this week and haven't had a chance to ride it. I must admit that I'm nervous thinking about it. What if it doesn't like me? I will get the chance this afternoon. I am putting off my brick (47 mi bike/10 mi run) until after my oldest's basketball game today. I wanted to see him play and more importantly wanted the insurance of support if something bad happens. Now I know Eric will be close by if there's a technical difficulty (not that I can't change my own tire or anything). So, my afternoon and evening will be spent outside on this beautiful, gorgeous, Colorado day...guess I can't ask for a better time. Well, maybe the beach in Hawaii...but that's not happening.

Thank you all for reading and accepting my apology. This training thing is really opening my eyes to a lot! And it's not always a pretty sight.

Rambling

Back to work this week. We had a great time in New Mexico. I managed to contract my child's cold, so it worked out perfectly to be sick at Grandma and Grandpa's. I wasn't really required to do anything other than lay on the couch and read. I did get in an 8.5 miler and a 5.5 miler while there, sandwiched around the nasty cold day.

My week so far is pretty easy. I've frontloaded my easy workouts just to let my body heal. This morning I did a 70 minute ride to Grey's Anatomy and swam easy while Andrew had his swim lesson...worked out to 1000 yards straight through. Sometimes those swims are nice, just to let me feel the water and relax.

The next two days won't be such a cakewalk, though. An 11.5 mile run (with 2 zone 4 repeats...ahhh) for tomorrow with a tempo swim, followed by a 36 mile tempo ride Thursday are on the docket. I'll get through them and be so happy. I get my bike tomorrow. Hopefully I can get on it sometime this week, the weather isn't supposed to be the greatest, though.

So, a bit of mindless rambling for this Tuesday. It's all good!

So Happy

So....I deserve a big, monstrous, round of applause...I changed my own tire on the road!! Yes, me! And, I didn't get mad or throw things or even cry. I very matter of factly took my tire off (rear tire, too. I know, wow!) pulled out the supplies and got to work. I am so incredibly proud of myself. And, to congratulate, I cut my ride short by 7 miles. I know I deserve more..I'll crack out the coffee here in a minute. I am so satisfied.

The day didn't start out this great though. We are heading out of town, to Angel Fire, to ski and see family. Mornings for this "non-packing mom" really suck for my kids. I called them pigs (because they leave their stuff everywhere) and wasn't very nice. Guess I have some making up to do.

On another note, my Week #22 is wrapping up very well. I just love my new mind set and it has really played out in my workouts this week. Today was supposed to be a 35 mile tempo ride, but cut it to 28 miles. I was not just proud of myself for the tire change but for even going outside. Even now, it's only 40 degrees, and the wind picked up nicely as I was headed east...brrrr. I decided a nice warm shower, blog and lunch was deserved by me. My final workout will be tomorrow in the mountains..an 8.5 tempo run. I do love to run there and I work really hard since we're at a higher altitude. I should have no problem achieving my 2 x 1.5 mile zone 4 repeats, but I probably won't feel too great about them. Oh well.

So, the run down for the week was:

1000 tempo swim (supposed to 1750, but child was in other pool for swim lessons and I couldn't finish)
28 mile ride (in basement)
11 mile run
65 mile long ride (supposed to have a 3 mile run after, but didn't)
2150 swim (completed creatively)
28 mile tempo ride (supposed to be 35)
8.5 mile tempo run

As you can see...a very full week, but a good week. I gave it my best effort and am looking forward to a little time on the slopes, very patiently helping my children ski (not gonna happen), or maybe I'll just stay home and read. Whatever happens, I am ready for week #23.

65 mile ride/3 mile run (NOT!)

Today was a momentous occasion for me..it marked the first real ride of the season outside, and it was 65 miles. Man, I'm tired. I was supposed to run afterwards and just didn't have it..I started to run and managed 1/2 mile, then turned around and went home. I feel super slow right now, and sore. You just don't use the same muscles in the basement as you do on the road. The day was lovely and I am soooo ready for a nap, but, alas..time to get the kids from school and start the second half of the day. I guess this stuff is what makes me an Ironman. Not the workouts as much as it is fitting them in, doing them, then realizing the world doesn't revolve around me and laundry/dinner/basketball practice/school pickup all still happens. It's all good. One thing we can all count on is that I will sleep AWESOME tonight!

Blah blah blahty blah

Training is progressing nicely this week, although it's only Tuesday morning. I had an 11 mile run yesterday with 4 x 1 mile zone 3 repeats. My times didn't really come down from three weeks ago, but I can certainly say I held steady. The rest of the run went well aside from lots and lots of mud and a malfunctioning ipod. Oh well. I figure any adversity is good, knowing that I will face lots during the Ironman.

This morning I watched the final Bachelor episode while riding on the trainer for 98 minutes. It was fine..neither was very exciting. Later today I will do a 1750 swim (hopefully) while Andrew has his swim lesson.

Tomorrow is my long ride..66 miles plus a 3 mile run. The weather really seems to be cooperating...should hit the 60s by tomorrow, which means I may be able to do much of the ride outdoors. I have to admit it scares me a little to ride outside, but once I get going it will be great.

So, all in all, I've embraced the week...getting things done. We are heading down to Angel Fire on Friday afternoon so I'm packing everything I can before we leave. Not much to report. Grateful for my new mindset and focus.