Wondering

I am almost at the end of week 4 of training, one more bike ride to go (30 miles), hopefully tomorrow if the roads are OK after our snowfall. It's been a good week and nice to get back into the groove after a mellow week last week. Today was a 45 minute run...it was the coldest, darkest morning yet. My GPS/heart rate monitor was not charged, so I didn't have the feedback I am used to. Sometimes that is a blessing because I can take a break from constantly checking my heart rate and think about other things.

In my prayertime, before my run, I spent some time wondering what the point of all this is. Don't get me wrong...I feel very "called" to this Ironman thing and I will see it through to the best of my ability, but I have not been feeling it. I've been just going through the motions and getting it done which makes me question how much I don't do in my life because I don't feel inspired or encouraged. What things do I know that I need to do but am lacking inspiration? Does this make sense? I'm not sure if it does to me either. I think part of it is having so many other things on my plate (mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, helper, etc) that this ONE thing of Ironman just can't define me. Maybe it's God's way of keeping me in equilibrium and focused on Him as my source of guidance, inspiration, and encouragement. Instead of relying upon my own strength, I put it out there for Him to provide the wherewithal that keeps me moving forward.

On another subject, I had two Lactate Threshold Tests last week...one for the bike and the other run. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, here's the general gist. For my running test they had me run on a treadmill at a very easy intensity (think one step up from walking). Paul (the "tester" for lack of a better word) would take my blood at 4 minute intervals after ramping up the speed of the treadmill, so every 4 minutes I would run faster. As the intensity/speed increased I worked harder (obviously) and the lactate levels in my blood rose with my heart rate. At a given heart rate, different for everyone, the body stops clearing the lactate from the blood effectively and that is the point when we can say that we have a limited amount of exercise left in us. From this information, my 5 training/heart rate zones were then determined. This is very useful for training purposes so that each workout is not wasted (something I cannot afford in my life). Zone 1 is easy/recovery; zone 2 is a little harder, where about 75% of my workouts should be; zone 3 is harder, a marathon could be run here; zone 4 is where I think, "What the Hell am I doing? I paid money for this? I feel like crap"; and zone 5 is survival running, like from a lion. Much of an Ironman is performed in zones 2 and 3, so it's helpful to train appropriately so my body knows how to work most efficiently for what I'm training for. The most interesting thing I learned last week is that I have a 16 beats per minute (bpm) heart rate difference between cycling and running. This is huge for me, because I have felt awful on my bike because I've been using "run" data, which is not accurate. My heart works much harder when I run than when I bike.

It's fascinating information to have and a very useful tool for training more effectively and efficiently. I learned that I have been running too hard recently and need to pay more attention to keeping my effort in zones 1 and 2. It is so easy to think that it all needs to be faster and harder instead of steady and enjoyable. I mean, why do it if it isn't enjoyable? There is a time to be miserable, just doesn't have to be all the time.

Life is good, no complaints...moving forward happily, steadily and focused!

Parenting Corner

I just had a great little conversation with a friend as we were walking home from kid drop-off at school. She was sharing about the rough morning she had with her oldest. She said she knew from the moment he woke up that it would be a bad one, and how proud she was that she was able to hold it together while helping him prepare. At the last minute, though, when they were about to leave the house it all blew apart...she yelled and probably said some things she regretted (at least I do in those circumstances). In my experience, these are the moments in parenting that really stink. You send your precious child (although, not really thinking that at the time) off into the big world with broken hearts (not really thinking this either).

Thus my new motto: To the degree that you hold it together with your kids, spouse, ____ (insert name here) is the degree to which you will blow it with them.

On a training note...had my first Lactate Threshold Test of the week on Tuesday. It went very well and am looking forward to number two tomorrow. I will share my interpretation of the results in a later post.

Happy Fall Day!

Time Away

It's funny, now that I have a blog, how much of my time is spent thinking about it...theme ideas, avoidance, guilt, clever things to say. I apologize to my loyal fan base that I have been MIA these past couple of weeks. I will fill you in on the happenings.

Last weekend my sister and I met Trevor in Chicago for the marathon. We had a wonderful weekend of food, laughter and processing life events. I love the life he has carved out for himself there, including a lovely, turn of the century apartment; his cat Frank; his music; friends; and amazing restaurants. I have never spent time in Chicago and immediately fell in love with the city and its people. The marathon went very well and he ran/walked his way to a 6:27 finish. Julie and I ran the last half with him and were able to experience being part of a marathon when they start closing up shop...the Gatorade tables were being dumped, the "course closing" car was on our heels and the sides of the street were not as lined with people as I expected for a 50,000 participant race. Needless to say, it was a good experience being on this side of the coin. Julie was able to pick up some amazing couture from the side of the road as many casted their clothing aside while the temperatures warmed up...barely. Trevor said it looked like the two of us were fleeing our homeland as we wrapped scarves, hydration systems, running shirts around our waists and stuffed our pockets full of mittens and ear covers. It was rather hilarious.

My second week of training has happened rather uneventfully. I have lost a bit of the excitement as some weeks are just "get 'er done" weeks. That's OK. I managed my first brick of the season yesterday...a 19 mile ride/3.5 mile run with lots of zone 3 repeats (more on zones later). It was good but I was tired.

My parents and Aunt arrived in town Wednesday so my focus is less on training and more on enjoying their presence in my home. We spend so little time together that when we do, it is precious. This ironman thing is such a part of my life, not my whole life...I have so many other things that make me who I am. So, it is important for me to recognize when to take a step back and experience other events and people.

Coming up this week.....

It's a stabilizer week. In my Ironman plan, I have two weeks on and one week kinda off. So, for objective training purposes I get to go to the Boulder Center for Sports Medicine and have two Lactate Threshold Tests done...bike and run. I will post the results and explanations of this later. It is very useful and fun information to have...believe me!

Week number two...down...a lot more to go!

Bravery vs. Stupidity

I just returned from an 18 mile bike ride. Supposedly we are between two arctic storms...yesterday the high was 35 or something ridiculous like that. Today was supposed to be nice, then cold tomorrow, again. Weather Underground stated that ice pellets were in the forecast, no joke. So, I thought with my new resolve to ride outside no. matter. what. that I would give it a go. Usually, if there's a slight breeze, there's no sun, or it's below 50 degrees I say "no way". However, today I had something to prove.

I jimmied my pants and wore my capris with leg warmers over the top. Not the best idea...two slick fabrics joined together result in severe slippage. I spent a large portion of the ride hiking my pooled leg warmers back up over my knees. I don't have shoe covers so I went without. Bad idea. The breeze picked up as I rode and it seemed I had a headwind in 3 directions...not sure why that is...maybe it's because I was traveling at such high speeds. The sun didn't show itself until the end of my ride and my feet lost all feeling about a quarter of the way in.

So, now I'm left with the notion that I need to be careful. I need to exercise caution and common sense. Colorado weather is wonderful but not to be messed with. There is a balance between bravery and stupidity...but I have yet to figure out what that is.

I'm headed to Chicago today to watch my brother run his first marathon. I'm so proud of him and his efforts. It should be a great weekend enjoying the festivities and not having to run...yahoo!!

23 mile bike ride

Today I rescheduled my long ride from the weekend as I am headed out of town on Friday to watch my brother, Trevor, run his first marathon in Chicago. My sister and I are going to support him in this wonderful experience.

My ride turned out to be 23, just because I didn't feel like tacking on 3 miles of random loops and traffic. It was a lovely morning, sunny, a little breezy, around 50 degrees. The trees are all changing and the mountains have a dusting of snow...a perfect time to think and get away.

For some reason, cycling is the most difficult for me of the three sports. I don't know how to feel awful on my bike, like I do running. I worry about being hit by a motorist, getting a flat, or death. Often, particularly early in the season, my concern can overwhelm me. I find that I have to force myself and just do it. Once I'm on the road it's all good...unless it's windy or precipitating.

My goal is to do as many rides outdoors as I can through the winter, but chances are I will be in my basement A LOT! I will get caught up on all my Newsweeks, People Magazines, movies, and Oprah episodes.

Tomorrow is a 3.5 mile tempo run and a 1000 yard swim...good times!!

Foundations

The only thing on the training agenda for today was an 800 yard tempo swim. At this point, it's almost like what's the point...a half mile swim...when I know that in 9 months I will be doing 5 times that. It works out nicely because Andrew has his Alligator swim class in the adjacent pool...so I whip through my workout, he and I get some hot tub time together then hit the showers.

Everything builds from here...the duration and intensity of every workout is so important right now because I am gathering the foundation. If I were to jump immediately into the larger workouts I would be a mental and physical mess. It is crucial I put in these "minor" workouts to build to the major ones...these easy weeks gradually move into the difficult weeks. The funny thing is that half the problem is the mental challenge presented, fitting all of life's pieces together. My blog is named "Puzzled" because that's what it feels like much of the time. When I get my training schedule on Saturday for the following week, I must take stock of everything else on my life's agenda...Eric's schedule, sports schedules, school schedules, church schedules, volunteer schedules, play dates, date nights, childcare options...you get the picture. Some weeks I look at what is in front of me and literally break out into a sweat and wonder how in the world it's all going to work. What has to give? How am I going to be a decent person, mother, wife and friend? How am I going to love my children as they need? I must say that many days I look back on the hours and collapse in despair, other days I rejoice or at least give a quick "hooray". I have learned that nothing is permanent. I have a tendency - when having a bad week, month or season - to think it is never going to change, that I am stuck. However, I see the changes that need to be made and eventually everything reaches a new, working normal, until something else gives...it's totally fluid.

So, at this stage of my training, I will put in my time, build my strength and cherish the ability to have some aimlessness. Meanwhile, I surrender (there's that word again) my schedule and the complete craziness of some weeks while trusting that God has it in his hands. I love the verse: "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). It reminds me that He is good. That I must rest in Him and know that He loves me and knows my dreams, my goals, my training, my desires. When I give Him what is most important to me, He returns it more fully.

So, on to the crazy afternoon that lies ahead...school, soccer, gymnastics, dinner, bathtime, bedtime, homework.... It's just one day...not forever. Amen!!

Perfection

So, today it begins. No more of this "do whatever I want" mentality. Now it starts...day number 1. Actually my week is pretty easy compared to what I was doing for the half ironman race I did in August. I think it has to do more with the formality of what I'm training for.

Ever since I can remember I've struggled with the "right way to do things". Where does that come from? I tend to be a rather perfectionistic individual. If it doesn't get done the right way, then it shouldn't be done at all, and therefore I have failed. You can probably guess that I need to work on that, which I have been. In the interim period, these past two months, I managed to paint many of my oak cabinets. We moved into this lovely, large home about a year ago and I knew that the oak would make me crazy. So, one week, about a month ago I started painting...black. I have to say that in the middle of my kitchen project, when I saw things weren't turning out "perfectly" I had a breakdown of sorts...couldn't sleep, cried, and had a moment of panic where I thought, "I shouldn't have even started this ____ project." What happened to "good enough"? What happened to "I did my best"? Why is perfection the standard when it is completely unattainable?

I look around me, in my community, my country, media and so much of it screams "YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE WORTHY". Where did that come from? As I begin Ironman training, knowing I can only do my best, and every day is different, I have to be at peace with the process. I have to be at peace in the journey. I have to know that every day is a new day and every morning (or every moment) I must surrender all things over to the God of the Universe. I will do my best and I will wonder if I am good enough, but at least I know that He is perfect so I don't have to be.

Hmmm...heavy stuff for Day 1...lots of things rattling around in my brain. I am excited to see what this week brings.

Gotta go...kiddo needs a snack.

Introduction

Wow, hard to believe that I have a blog. I have never been confident in my writing ability but I love to talk...so maybe we can all view this as an opportunity for me to talk while writing...far less intimidating that way.

I commence my Ironman training on Monday morning for Ironman Coeur d'Alene (Idaho) on June 27, 2010. I was one of those people who thought Ironman triathletes were a crazy and neurotic bunch. Maybe they still are and I am now one of those...not new news to anyone but me apparently.

I have been participating in triathlons off and on over the past 10 years, but have taken a more serious approach the past four years or so, after the birth of my youngest. I had the incredible opportunity to qualify for and run the Boston Marathon in '08...a decade long dream. So, here I am now tackling the next thing on the docket.

It seems that this journey is like gestation. Forty or so weeks from now until the big day. At this point I'm in the state of waiting, wondering and expectation. I hear and read about it from others, but until I experience it for myself (like labor and childbirth) I will not know. Through this time I will be challenged physically, mentally and spiritually as I prioritize and plan how my time and energy will be spent.

I am incredibly grateful to God that he has worked in me to give me wonderful things; to my husband for encouraging me, loving me, and providing childcare; my coach for his expertise and confidence; to my children for their constant questions as to why I would do such a thing; and to my friends, family and training partners who believe in me.

With this I know embark on my journey of training and blogging. I will do my best to keep you posted on new truths, challenges, and the ways in which I experience the power that has been placed in me. Thank you for reading.