Saturday, December 26, 2009

Reflecting...

It was a wonderful Christmas Day. I think I was more excited than the kids were. I just love being able to give them some of the things they have really wanted and then to experience their gratitude and grace on the other side. It's a priceless thing for a parent when our kids express a "Thank You" or "That's OK, Mom, I understand". Wow. It's a true example of how our imperfect parenting is rewarded with these fabulous moments. That is True Grace!

My Week #12 wound up fine. I was scheduled to complete a short brick today (20 mi ride/3 mi run) but opted instead to run for about 5 miles. It was a beautiful, snowing morning and I needed some time alone to process the events of the past few days. Nothing helps me do that like a run in the snow. No GPS, no Heart Rate Monitor, no watch...just the dog, my Yaktrax, gloves, and hat. It was a magical run and a reminder of why I run.

I am so grateful for my relatively simple life right now. My Christmas season was relaxed (for the most part), full of family time and gratitude. I hope to carry this sense into the New Year, particularly in light of IM training. This next week I want to reflect on the past year and take stock. Praise myself for a job well done and be honest with myself about things that need some attention. I will be prayerfully intentional in this and hope that God will meet me clearly on this one. It looks like the kids are going home with Grandma and Grandpa from Monday to Thursday, so this will give me a great opportunity. So... a rest day tomorrow and then on to Week #13!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas, McDonalds, Presents, Etc.

With Christmas on the horizon, I thought it would be a good idea to give an update. Training has gone marvelously this week. I love these stabilizer weeks especially when they fall on busy weeks (like Christmas).

Our time at home has been very quiet, so it worked nicely to bribe the kids with a movie and ride in the basement. My rides this week (22 and 23 miles) have involved watching "Supersize Me". I must admit that I haven't wanted to watch it because I do like my McD's. For many many years I did not allow myself to eat McDonalds, so about 8 years ago I brought it back in (not sure why) and often nothing will satisfy like a cheeseburger and fries. Granted, I'm one of those that doesn't need a ton so maybe the movie wasn't made for people like me, but as a Registered Dietitian, I wonder if I should change my stance. My thinking has been to allow it and have it when desired so it's not a big deal when it happens, then eventually one may lose the frequent taste for it. This documentary has revealed to me that this thinking may not be possible with our average American. What are your thoughts?

We have fun plans tonight for dinner with friends, on to church, then home for brownie/ice cream sundaes and opening of the pajamas. Don't tell the kids, but they are each getting a Snuggie. I think this is probably the gift I am most excited about. Every time we go to the store they point out the Snuggies.

I am proud of myself this Christmas. I have kept my expectations in check. I even stopped myself from vacuuming today, knowing it was a colossal waste of time, considering tomorrow it will be piled with paper, ribbon, tape, crumbs. Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, crackers and cheese for lunch and lasagna for dinner. Easy peasy.

Many, many wishes out to all of you for a blessed and wonderful Christmas. I am grateful for each and every one of my readers: family, friends and others. Thank you for wanting to read my thoughts. It makes me happy.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Week #11 recap

My week #11 has ended on a good note. I managed to get in my required bike riding, running, and all but one short little itty bitty swim. I feel good about how it all shook out, considering the final week of school before Christmas. Next week is a stabilizer. At this point I think I will do okay, but one never knows the week of Christmas.

I watched "The Kiterunner" last night. I remember being impacted by the book, but not quite like this. I am floored by the evil perpetrated around the world. I have been praying lately that God would move my heart. I think he's doing it. I'm trying to be okay with being uncomfortable rather than plugging my ears and singing, "La la la la la" over and over again. I am trying not to feel impotent and useless, but rather take it all to the Lord in prayer and give it to him.

Believe it or not, I am short on words today. Merry Christmas to all of you. Enjoy your Sunday!!


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Summary

This week is progressing nicely with training. I am grateful for the workouts I've been able to accomplish. Monday was a 6.5 mile run, into the wind. Fortunately I had my friend T. to keep me from crying and turning around. She and I have such a nice time together. Tuesday was a ride in the basement for 80 minutes. That was awesome because I was able to catch up on the Biggest Loser Finale. I'm so happy that Danny won. Today I braved the December chill and rode my bike outside for 25 miles. I thought it was warmer than it was, so I've been cold all day! It was a good ride and I'm so glad it's over.

On to the next part of my day. Picking the kids up from school and enjoying the afternoon with no plans! Gotta love having no plans. I relish that this time of year when things can easily go nuts with the schedule and routine. Just two more days of school then they are home for 3 weeks...that scares me. We'll see how the workouts fit in then....or not.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Paths

I rarely know what I'm going to say before I start typing. Most of my blog posts are streams of consciousness that becomes solidified in some form, by very little doing of my own.

I finished up week #10 very well considering the crazy weather we had upon us. I took Saturday off after my Friday brick and went against my "no Sunday workout" rule, and did a 6 mile run. It was lovely with lots of starts and stops...there is still tons of ice everywhere, especially on the neighborhood streets. Plus, I'm feeling like an awful dog owner, so it meant running for four miles then returning home to get my poor pup for the last two.

I am hopeful about the upcoming week. I have the plan all mapped out, but have learned to put very little stock into that. The Bible verse I claimed last week was, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6). I have loved that passage for a long time, but the promise took brand new meaning for me last week as I tried to fit it all in.

We watched The Nativity Story last night with the kids. I love that movie and how it brings to life all that Mary and Joseph went through...the opposition, judgment, fear, uncertainty, pain...to bring that little baby into the world in the most humble of ways. What a picture to see the shepherds, the outcasts of society, at the birth of our Lord. I am reduced to tears each and every time I consider it. Our God is so good, so perfect, that he knew exactly what we needed those 2009 years ago. I am so very grateful to know Him and claim His promises for all eternity. I am feeling equal parts blessing and longing this Christmas season. I wait in expectation for the Lord's return, but yet I feel so privileged to share in the promise and do my very best to live my life accordingly.

I hope this time for all of you is a chance to reflect on God's goodness and love while we navigate together the paths opened before us, no matter what they are. I pray you will all experience his grace and mercy in new and fresh ways.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I just needed to write

I just wanted to write about the past couple of days...nothing terribly profound. I had a rough one yesterday with the kids that involved some interesting facebook posts, plus some curse words directed at them. I woke up very humbled this morning. I do have wonderful children, but somedays they should not be left alone with me, nor should we even be near one another.

Today was better as far as the kids are concerned. I watched my tongue and blood pressure. Andrew and I made it to the Rec Center for a swim. He agreed to go to child care for me so I could get my workout done, then he would join me afterwards. We made it to the parking lot and a very kind gentleman pointed out that my front tire was hissing and losing air very quickly (keeping in mind it's only 10 degrees outside). He offered to change my tire but I insisted "no". So, I called my husband and he took care of it for me while Andrew and I went about our plan. I am such a fortunate soul to be married to such a generous, capable man.

We had a great swim, grabbed McD's for lunch, had rest time, then Eric informed me at 2 P.M. that he needed to leave for the airport at 2:15 to fly to Connecticut. Poor guy. The minute he told me all of the weekend plans flashed through my head. Workouts? Hmmm. Book club? Hmmm.

I am reminded that there are no guarantees when it comes to this training thing. I have to do the best with what I have and trust that the rest will follow. It's tricky sometimes resting in that. I feel like this whole training week has been a struggle. Again, take advantage of the opportunities I have when I have them.

I will attempt my brick tomorrow while A. is in preschool...hopefully I can fit it all in...root for me please. At least it will be warmer...yahoooo!!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Baby it's COLD outside...

I know it is all everyone is talking about...how cold it is outside, but it's all we can think about. Everything is affected: schedules, clothing, food, workouts, vitamin D needs, energy levels of busy kids, school pick up and drop off, finding lost gloves. I love cold weather. I actually get disappointed when the temperatures start to rise because I love the excuse to hunker down, eat, drink hot beverages, and rest. After about a week, though, it gets a bit old.

Training for an Ironman is tricky when the weather is frigid. Fortunately, my generous husband rounded up a trainer for me, so I can get my rides done indoors. Swimming is not a problem...except for the part where I have to peel off twenty layers to get my swimsuit on and hop in the water...brrr. Running is where the rub is. I don't have a treadmill, nor do I have easy access to one, nor do I want one. I want to run outside every chance I get because it cleans me out: body, mind and soul. Since the warm up is supposed to happen tomorrow I will pile my three scheduled runs into the next three days. Not a biggie at this point, just so grateful to have other options and Yaktrax.

So far this week I have completed two bike rides (in the basement) and one swim. Left on the docket is: another swim, two runs (6.5 and 4 miles), and a brick (28 mile ride/5.5 mile run). There you have my next three days where workouts go....then I'm done with week #10...a quarter of the way through. Time is flying!

Enjoy the day, stay warm everyone!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Week #9 Ramblings

Today is one of those mornings where I am just plain tired. It's been a busy week of Christmas shopping, holiday concerts, parties, and workouts. Granted, it is a stabilizer week so my training is lesser than usual. I woke up this morning thinking that I would just "put off" my swim for later in the weekend. Then I realized...this is nothing. I so need to push through my fatigue and do the workout. It's only going to get harder from here. I'm not injured or in pain or sick...just a little tired. Do it while I have the chance!!

My training week is coming along nicely, a couple rides, one run, two swims (after today), and a 24 mile ride tomorrow...which will have to be on the trainer. It's freezing outside.

Last night we celebrated my husband's sixth Christmas party for his businesses. It was a wonderful time to reflect on the past years and see the people and families represented around the table. I am so grateful and proud of his hard work, diligence, and heart. We have seen firsthand God's work.

So, onto another day and weekend. I am reminded of the amazing joy of this season as I look at our Christmas tree, filled to the brim with ornaments; the snow outside; and the warmth of our home. Hopefully I can maintain this spirit once the kids wake up. That's the real trick!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Thanksgiving Week

Sooooo...week #8 was a bit of a different story. Holiday weeks are always tricky because there is the tender balance of achieving the training goal, completing the workouts, and spending time with the people you love the most. Thanksgiving week was all planned out...I was going to fit in at least one swim and two bike rides before going to New Mexico for the rest of the week on Tuesday. I love running there so I thought I would save those. Come Monday morning I woke up feeling nasty...some stomach bug I contracted, via food or virus I have no idea. It rendered me rather useless, aside from caring for the kids (home from school for the week). I laid around for the day, somewhat debating whether or not I should just hop on my trainer in the basement...NOT. Anyways, I managed a tempo ride on Tuesday morning, then we headed out of town. I completed my runs (no pun intended) in Angel Fire and had a wonderful time by myself, running in the gorgeous mountains. We came home on Saturday and I did the scheduled brick (24 ride/5 mile run) on Sunday before church. I could not believe how great I felt!

On another note, I have been struggling internally for the past month or so with contentment and self worth (nothing new for me) as evidenced by my blog posts. My time in Angel Fire with God really brought me some healing and answers. It was priceless. One of the questions I asked him in my prayer time was, "When the voices are swirling how do I know which one is yours?" I felt this very clear response, which was, "Mine is the quietest one". Wow!! It blew me away....He is so good! I love how I can wrestle and struggle, then finally surrender, and he comes in in his sweet and perfect time to give the answer I so desperately needed.

My Thanksgiving was perfect in every way! I was filled with rest, gratitude, time with family, laughter, and a full heart (and tummy).

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Week #7 recap

I am nearly wrapped up with week #7...one more long bike ride this afternoon, then it's over. I have felt so good that I have to be grateful. I managed to fit in 2 swims (1000-1300 yards), 2 bike rides (22 and 25 miles) with a 34 scheduled for today, and 2 runs (4.5 and 5 miles).

I look forward to next week, but it will be interesting to see how it all pieces together. The kids are home all week from school and we are heading down to NM for Thanksgiving. I will try to pack in at least one swim and two bike rides (hopefully) into Monday and Tuesday and run while in Angel Fire. It's wonderful to run there so I like to take advantage of it.

Last night, 10 HEPsters gathered for a swim clinic with our coach Craig and Neal Henderson of the Boulder Center for Sports Medicine (BCSM). We were each followed with a camera viewing our stroke from all angles and received feedback afterwards. Needless to say, I have a lot to work on, but such good information to have. It should be interesting to see how my swims progress over the season.

Right now we are having a relaxing morning as a family, ready to pop in the new Ice Age movie. I don't get many Saturday mornings with nothing to do, so I must enjoy it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Holes: Part Two

So, I want to revisit what I wrote about yesterday. I was venting, very frustrated and in a hurry so I didn't get to fully convey what I wanted.

Over the weekend (which is rather typical for me) I was in a state of longing. I felt like a piece of swiss cheese, just full of holes. I wanted this and didn't want to do that...blah, blah, blah. The internal dialogue was exhausting and I felt very frustrated with myself. Here I have this great life - healthy kids, a husband who loves me, good friends, great opportunities, a vibrant faith - yet I sometimes cannot get past the new thing(s) I want.

God revealed to me this morning, in my prayer time, that He is once again trying to pry away all the tools and crutches I've used to fill the places that can only be filled by Him. In my life some examples are: cars, houses, decorating, coffee, diet coke, candy, exercise, racing, training, internet, praise and admiration from others, to name a few. I was reminded (for what seems the bazillionth time) that nothing offered by this world will fully satisfy. It doesn't mean any of this stuff is bad or wrong, they just will never be enough. I will ALWAYS want more...greedy thing that I am.

So, with that said, I hope it clears it up for you all. I am feeling so much love and encouragement from my Heavenly Father. He is so good, all of the time, even when it doesn't look that way. I do know that he is faithful. I am incredibly grateful for his work in my life and that he doesn't settle for my little idols.

I had a wonderful run yesterday (obviously needed it) and will hopefully swim today while A. is in his swim lesson. Pretty easy day ahead (at least at this point...one never knows).


Monday, November 16, 2009

Holes

I have a few minutes before sending the kids out the door and getting the other one to preschool this morning. My week 6 wrapped up nicely. I managed to fit in all workouts with some time to spare, which allowed me to have two days off this weekend. I wanted to be able to hit these next two weeks with as much energy as possible. After the weekend, I am rethinking the wisdom of my plan for so much rest.

It seems that when I'm not physically tired and challenged by the training, I just don't need that much rest. Do you know what that means for a weekend? It means my mind goes a million miles per hour trying to figure out how to fill my time instead of just being. I think about painting...I want to paint, or spending money...not just on something small, but BIG. I cannot turn it off either. Then I ruminate over how fortunate I am and why am I being so discontent, which just fuels the fire.

This is nothing new, believe me. Many a weekend have been riddled with these thoughts, pressures and feelings. I really have no idea what to do about it. I just know, for a fact, that I have a ton of holes that I want to fill with things, exercise, goals, experiences... Will these fill those empty places? No! I guess the answer is prayer, patience, and extending grace to myself. I don't know what else to do.

I get to run this morning for about 5 miles with some hill repeats worked in. It's a cold, crisp, sunny day with snow on the ground, so it will add a nice change of scenery.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Voices in my Head

Today I went on a 20 mile ride. I was supposed to do 6 minutes of Armstrong Intervals. Huh? Anyways, it's riding while standing up in zone 4. I "tried" to do 1 minute of low cadence followed by 1 minute high cadence. I must have looked like a freak. I am already rather uncertain on my bike, then to be standing up for 6 minutes while pedaling at a rapid pace. I managed to get most of it done, but really decided that I will let Lance Armstrong be Lance Armstrong. I do not need to aspire to be him, even in my cycling. Granted, he is pretty amazing.

Here is the dialogue I had with myself when I realized I had to do these boogers. "Ah, just skip it, ride in zone 4 for 6 minutes and be done with it." Or, "Just do it, what's your problem. It's new, try it". I seem to have these ongoing voices in my head whether they are related to the workout or greater things that threaten how I think or feel about myself and others.

Lately (or forever) I've had this struggle with "the last 5 pounds". Sometimes they seem like they are on their way gone, and other times they turn into 10. Constantly I deal with the voices surrounding my weight. "Man, Jen, if you would just lose that last 5 or 10, think about how much faster you would be"; or "Your clothes sure are feeling tight today, maybe you should get moving and not eat so much". The dialogue is never ending...in fact, I joke, "I really love being with myself, the voices in my head keep me company". I waste so many waking hours pondering and listening to them. I have come a long way in recent years, but I am never completely free.

I know Ironman will not squelch these voices. I know Ironman is not the answer for my "issues". They will be with me forever. However, I do have the knowledge and power to combat them. It is just whether or not I choose to pay attention. I love this verse in 2 Corinthians 10:5: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Here I am reminded that I have a responsibility to lay each and every one of those words/voices/negative ideas before God and let him have my insecurities.

Who knows about those 5 pounds? Maybe it's time to move on and accept, or not, I don't know...haven't figured it out yet. I do know that I will never ride like Lance Armstrong...and I am totally OK with that.

Tomorrow is a lovely swim at the rec center, on to an abbreviated brick Friday (or Saturday).



Monday, November 9, 2009

A Little Bit of Down

These last couple weeks of training have been fantastic. I have looked forward to my workouts, my adjusted zones have been so good for me, and (drum roll, please) I AM LOVING MY BIKE!!! I never thought I would see myself write such a thing... I am actually looking forward to and enjoying being on my bike. That was probably one of my biggest concerns signing up for Ironman. It is such a good feeling.

Last week's training wrapped up well. I finished off the week with a nice "little" brick of a 21 mile ride/4 mile run. My wonderful neighbor and friend took the kids on Saturday morning so I could get it out of the way (after a wasted attempt with the wind the day before). I really despise having a workout hanging over my head, so it was nice to be able to do it first thing in the morning. Some people, I know, seem to love to workout at all times of day, but if I don't get it done (particularly running) early in the day I will find every excuse to avoid it. Or I will agonize over the impending workout for hours, affecting all around me.

So, with that said, I enter into a stabilizer week. I always welcome stabilizer...try to fit all the workouts in, but if I need to bail, I try to. I ran with a cherished friend this morning. We have only been running now for a couple of months, but it has become the highlight of my workout week. I adore our conversations and feel exercised, spiritually challenged, and encouraged all at the same time...perfect combination! Today was a difficult effort for both of us. I just felt a little bit down...never really know what to attribute this to, but tried to be present in our conversation today. She said many things that hit a chord in me. I am so grateful for the people in my life that challenge my assumptions and notions.

I am excited for Ironman, but really trying to be present in each workout. I cannot get ahead of myself because the prospect of all the work that lies ahead scares the *&^? out of me.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Decade of Mothering

Well, today marks a huge milestone - my oldest child, Brooks, turns 10. Ten years as a mother...a decade!! I would like to say these have been the best years of my life. In some respects I will say they have been, but in others, the hardest and most painful. My new saying (that I try not to say too often, especially to new parents) is, "Aside from the death of my mother, these have been the hardest years of my life". I also would like to say that I love being a mom and it's the most fulfilling job I will ever have (may be true in the long run, but short term not always so). Before I had children I had many notions of the kind of mother I would be...particularly a "sandbox" mom...where I would be in the thick of it with my childrens' games and imaginations. Not so much! In fact, the idea puts me into a cold sweat.

Here are a few things I have learned over the past 10 years:
  • I am not as patient as I thought I was.
  • I have learned to have very low expectations so that I am often pleasantly surprised.
  • I am capable of great love and sacrifice.
  • I am capable of saying words I never thought would come out of my mouth.
  • I am capable of "speaking" (screaming) in a way that is loud, evil, and causes my throat pain (think Satan).
  • I am capable of incredible levels of both fear and worry.
  • I have learned, through being a mother, how fiercely God loves, protects, and forgives me.
  • I have learned that when my gut is telling me not to do (or say) something, I should probably listen, although rarely do.
  • I have learned that giving unconditionally to my kids will not fulfill me. Sometimes they come first and sometimes I do. I absolutely need goals and things to look forward to beyond myself (hence triathlons) that involve my strengths, desires, and passions.
  • I have learned that there is a season for everything...some are longer than others.
  • I have learned that my children love me deeply and desire to forgive me when I screw up. They are constantly demonstrating grace to me.
  • I have learned that God gives us more than we can handle so we rely upon him.
  • I believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my marriage deserves MORE intentionality than my children do over the course of time. Eric's and my love, respect, and commitment for one another is the best gift (along with our faith) we can give to our kids.
  • I have learned the importance of living a life of authenticity. As mothers and women, we do way too much comparing, to the detriment of our relationships. We will do each other all a favor if we can just be honest about how hard this job is.
I hope I do not sound "down" on motherhood. I am not. It has been the single greatest tool God has used to teach me about my "brokenness" as a human being and the harm I am capable of inflicting on those I love the most. I am constantly humbled by these truths.

With all that said, I love the life I lead. I love my role and responsibility as a mother. I know myself better. I know my heart, my mind, and the gifts I give to my children of a listening ear; a hearty hug; a goofy song (generally about poop and farts); a date night with my husband; a game of Monopoly, Candy Land, etc...; a truthful word; a surprise gift; a conversation in the hot tub; a bike ride; a cuddle on the couch; a story in bed...

I have been reading in Ecclesiastes these past few mornings. It says, "A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment." (Ecclesiastes 2:24-25). This reminds me to trust and surrender my days to Him, to rely upon Him for the strength I need and know He is working in and through me for His good purposes....always.

So, on to the next decade of mothering...I'm sure I'll have a lot of different things to say when I'm dealing with teenagers and college students. I'll settle in here for awhile and not get ahead of myself.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I found it!

I have officially completed my first 4 weeks of training. It feels very good. In my last post I was struggling with motivation and inspiration. I found it! All I needed was a fabulous bike ride. Eric and I went yesterday for around 29 miles. We managed to get out around 3 p.m. after a day of doing the "maybe I should, maybe I shouldn'ts". So glad we did...beautiful and warm outside...a great reminder of why I am doing this thing.

The coming week is looking great, a couple swims packed into Andrew's swim lesson time; two bike rides; two runs and one brick (bike/run). I can't wait to get moving, but loved, loved, loved my day off :)

Happy Monday tomorrow! I'm ready to go.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Wondering

I am almost at the end of week 4 of training, one more bike ride to go (30 miles), hopefully tomorrow if the roads are OK after our snowfall. It's been a good week and nice to get back into the groove after a mellow week last week. Today was a 45 minute run...it was the coldest, darkest morning yet. My GPS/heart rate monitor was not charged, so I didn't have the feedback I am used to. Sometimes that is a blessing because I can take a break from constantly checking my heart rate and think about other things.

In my prayertime, before my run, I spent some time wondering what the point of all this is. Don't get me wrong...I feel very "called" to this Ironman thing and I will see it through to the best of my ability, but I have not been feeling it. I've been just going through the motions and getting it done which makes me question how much I don't do in my life because I don't feel inspired or encouraged. What things do I know that I need to do but am lacking inspiration? Does this make sense? I'm not sure if it does to me either. I think part of it is having so many other things on my plate (mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, helper, etc) that this ONE thing of Ironman just can't define me. Maybe it's God's way of keeping me in equilibrium and focused on Him as my source of guidance, inspiration, and encouragement. Instead of relying upon my own strength, I put it out there for Him to provide the wherewithal that keeps me moving forward.

On another subject, I had two Lactate Threshold Tests last week...one for the bike and the other run. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, here's the general gist. For my running test they had me run on a treadmill at a very easy intensity (think one step up from walking). Paul (the "tester" for lack of a better word) would take my blood at 4 minute intervals after ramping up the speed of the treadmill, so every 4 minutes I would run faster. As the intensity/speed increased I worked harder (obviously) and the lactate levels in my blood rose with my heart rate. At a given heart rate, different for everyone, the body stops clearing the lactate from the blood effectively and that is the point when we can say that we have a limited amount of exercise left in us. From this information, my 5 training/heart rate zones were then determined. This is very useful for training purposes so that each workout is not wasted (something I cannot afford in my life). Zone 1 is easy/recovery; zone 2 is a little harder, where about 75% of my workouts should be; zone 3 is harder, a marathon could be run here; zone 4 is where I think, "What the Hell am I doing? I paid money for this? I feel like crap"; and zone 5 is survival running, like from a lion. Much of an Ironman is performed in zones 2 and 3, so it's helpful to train appropriately so my body knows how to work most efficiently for what I'm training for. The most interesting thing I learned last week is that I have a 16 beats per minute (bpm) heart rate difference between cycling and running. This is huge for me, because I have felt awful on my bike because I've been using "run" data, which is not accurate. My heart works much harder when I run than when I bike.

It's fascinating information to have and a very useful tool for training more effectively and efficiently. I learned that I have been running too hard recently and need to pay more attention to keeping my effort in zones 1 and 2. It is so easy to think that it all needs to be faster and harder instead of steady and enjoyable. I mean, why do it if it isn't enjoyable? There is a time to be miserable, just doesn't have to be all the time.

Life is good, no complaints...moving forward happily, steadily and focused!


Thursday, October 22, 2009

Parenting Corner

I just had a great little conversation with a friend as we were walking home from kid drop-off at school. She was sharing about the rough morning she had with her oldest. She said she knew from the moment he woke up that it would be a bad one, and how proud she was that she was able to hold it together while helping him prepare. At the last minute, though, when they were about to leave the house it all blew apart...she yelled and probably said some things she regretted (at least I do in those circumstances). In my experience, these are the moments in parenting that really stink. You send your precious child (although, not really thinking that at the time) off into the big world with broken hearts (not really thinking this either).

Thus my new motto: To the degree that you hold it together with your kids, spouse, ____ (insert name here) is the degree to which you will blow it with them.

On a training note...had my first Lactate Threshold Test of the week on Tuesday. It went very well and am looking forward to number two tomorrow. I will share my interpretation of the results in a later post.

Happy Fall Day!


Sunday, October 18, 2009

Time Away

It's funny, now that I have a blog, how much of my time is spent thinking about it...theme ideas, avoidance, guilt, clever things to say. I apologize to my loyal fan base that I have been MIA these past couple of weeks. I will fill you in on the happenings.

Last weekend my sister and I met Trevor in Chicago for the marathon. We had a wonderful weekend of food, laughter and processing life events. I love the life he has carved out for himself there, including a lovely, turn of the century apartment; his cat Frank; his music; friends; and amazing restaurants. I have never spent time in Chicago and immediately fell in love with the city and its people. The marathon went very well and he ran/walked his way to a 6:27 finish. Julie and I ran the last half with him and were able to experience being part of a marathon when they start closing up shop...the Gatorade tables were being dumped, the "course closing" car was on our heels and the sides of the street were not as lined with people as I expected for a 50,000 participant race. Needless to say, it was a good experience being on this side of the coin. Julie was able to pick up some amazing couture from the side of the road as many casted their clothing aside while the temperatures warmed up...barely. Trevor said it looked like the two of us were fleeing our homeland as we wrapped scarves, hydration systems, running shirts around our waists and stuffed our pockets full of mittens and ear covers. It was rather hilarious.

My second week of training has happened rather uneventfully. I have lost a bit of the excitement as some weeks are just "get 'er done" weeks. That's OK. I managed my first brick of the season yesterday...a 19 mile ride/3.5 mile run with lots of zone 3 repeats (more on zones later). It was good but I was tired.

My parents and Aunt arrived in town Wednesday so my focus is less on training and more on enjoying their presence in my home. We spend so little time together that when we do, it is precious. This ironman thing is such a part of my life, not my whole life...I have so many other things that make me who I am. So, it is important for me to recognize when to take a step back and experience other events and people.

Coming up this week.....

It's a stabilizer week. In my Ironman plan, I have two weeks on and one week kinda off. So, for objective training purposes I get to go to the Boulder Center for Sports Medicine and have two Lactate Threshold Tests done...bike and run. I will post the results and explanations of this later. It is very useful and fun information to have...believe me!

Week number two...down...a lot more to go!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Bravery vs. Stupidity

I just returned from an 18 mile bike ride. Supposedly we are between two arctic storms...yesterday the high was 35 or something ridiculous like that. Today was supposed to be nice, then cold tomorrow, again. Weather Underground stated that ice pellets were in the forecast, no joke. So, I thought with my new resolve to ride outside no. matter. what. that I would give it a go. Usually, if there's a slight breeze, there's no sun, or it's below 50 degrees I say "no way". However, today I had something to prove.

I jimmied my pants and wore my capris with leg warmers over the top. Not the best idea...two slick fabrics joined together result in severe slippage. I spent a large portion of the ride hiking my pooled leg warmers back up over my knees. I don't have shoe covers so I went without. Bad idea. The breeze picked up as I rode and it seemed I had a headwind in 3 directions...not sure why that is...maybe it's because I was traveling at such high speeds. The sun didn't show itself until the end of my ride and my feet lost all feeling about a quarter of the way in.

So, now I'm left with the notion that I need to be careful. I need to exercise caution and common sense. Colorado weather is wonderful but not to be messed with. There is a balance between bravery and stupidity...but I have yet to figure out what that is.

I'm headed to Chicago today to watch my brother run his first marathon. I'm so proud of him and his efforts. It should be a great weekend enjoying the festivities and not having to run...yahoo!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

23 mile bike ride

Today I rescheduled my long ride from the weekend as I am headed out of town on Friday to watch my brother, Trevor, run his first marathon in Chicago. My sister and I are going to support him in this wonderful experience.

My ride turned out to be 23, just because I didn't feel like tacking on 3 miles of random loops and traffic. It was a lovely morning, sunny, a little breezy, around 50 degrees. The trees are all changing and the mountains have a dusting of snow...a perfect time to think and get away.

For some reason, cycling is the most difficult for me of the three sports. I don't know how to feel awful on my bike, like I do running. I worry about being hit by a motorist, getting a flat, or death. Often, particularly early in the season, my concern can overwhelm me. I find that I have to force myself and just do it. Once I'm on the road it's all good...unless it's windy or precipitating.

My goal is to do as many rides outdoors as I can through the winter, but chances are I will be in my basement A LOT! I will get caught up on all my Newsweeks, People Magazines, movies, and Oprah episodes.

Tomorrow is a 3.5 mile tempo run and a 1000 yard swim...good times!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Foundations

The only thing on the training agenda for today was an 800 yard tempo swim. At this point, it's almost like what's the point...a half mile swim...when I know that in 9 months I will be doing 5 times that. It works out nicely because Andrew has his Alligator swim class in the adjacent pool...so I whip through my workout, he and I get some hot tub time together then hit the showers.

Everything builds from here...the duration and intensity of every workout is so important right now because I am gathering the foundation. If I were to jump immediately into the larger workouts I would be a mental and physical mess. It is crucial I put in these "minor" workouts to build to the major ones...these easy weeks gradually move into the difficult weeks. The funny thing is that half the problem is the mental challenge presented, fitting all of life's pieces together. My blog is named "Puzzled" because that's what it feels like much of the time. When I get my training schedule on Saturday for the following week, I must take stock of everything else on my life's agenda...Eric's schedule, sports schedules, school schedules, church schedules, volunteer schedules, play dates, date nights, childcare options...you get the picture. Some weeks I look at what is in front of me and literally break out into a sweat and wonder how in the world it's all going to work. What has to give? How am I going to be a decent person, mother, wife and friend? How am I going to love my children as they need? I must say that many days I look back on the hours and collapse in despair, other days I rejoice or at least give a quick "hooray". I have learned that nothing is permanent. I have a tendency - when having a bad week, month or season - to think it is never going to change, that I am stuck. However, I see the changes that need to be made and eventually everything reaches a new, working normal, until something else gives...it's totally fluid.

So, at this stage of my training, I will put in my time, build my strength and cherish the ability to have some aimlessness. Meanwhile, I surrender (there's that word again) my schedule and the complete craziness of some weeks while trusting that God has it in his hands. I love the verse: "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). It reminds me that He is good. That I must rest in Him and know that He loves me and knows my dreams, my goals, my training, my desires. When I give Him what is most important to me, He returns it more fully.

So, on to the crazy afternoon that lies ahead...school, soccer, gymnastics, dinner, bathtime, bedtime, homework.... It's just one day...not forever. Amen!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Perfection

So, today it begins. No more of this "do whatever I want" mentality. Now it starts...day number 1. Actually my week is pretty easy compared to what I was doing for the half ironman race I did in August. I think it has to do more with the formality of what I'm training for.

Ever since I can remember I've struggled with the "right way to do things". Where does that come from? I tend to be a rather perfectionistic individual. If it doesn't get done the right way, then it shouldn't be done at all, and therefore I have failed. You can probably guess that I need to work on that, which I have been. In the interim period, these past two months, I managed to paint many of my oak cabinets. We moved into this lovely, large home about a year ago and I knew that the oak would make me crazy. So, one week, about a month ago I started painting...black. I have to say that in the middle of my kitchen project, when I saw things weren't turning out "perfectly" I had a breakdown of sorts...couldn't sleep, cried, and had a moment of panic where I thought, "I shouldn't have even started this ____ project." What happened to "good enough"? What happened to "I did my best"? Why is perfection the standard when it is completely unattainable?

I look around me, in my community, my country, media and so much of it screams "YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE WORTHY". Where did that come from? As I begin Ironman training, knowing I can only do my best, and every day is different, I have to be at peace with the process. I have to be at peace in the journey. I have to know that every day is a new day and every morning (or every moment) I must surrender all things over to the God of the Universe. I will do my best and I will wonder if I am good enough, but at least I know that He is perfect so I don't have to be.

Hmmm...heavy stuff for Day 1...lots of things rattling around in my brain. I am excited to see what this week brings.

Gotta go...kiddo needs a snack.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Introduction

Wow, hard to believe that I have a blog. I have never been confident in my writing ability but I love to talk...so maybe we can all view this as an opportunity for me to talk while writing...far less intimidating that way.

I commence my Ironman training on Monday morning for Ironman Coeur d'Alene (Idaho) on June 27, 2010. I was one of those people who thought Ironman triathletes were a crazy and neurotic bunch. Maybe they still are and I am now one of those...not new news to anyone but me apparently.

I have been participating in triathlons off and on over the past 10 years, but have taken a more serious approach the past four years or so, after the birth of my youngest. I had the incredible opportunity to qualify for and run the Boston Marathon in '08...a decade long dream. So, here I am now tackling the next thing on the docket.

It seems that this journey is like gestation. Forty or so weeks from now until the big day. At this point I'm in the state of waiting, wondering and expectation. I hear and read about it from others, but until I experience it for myself (like labor and childbirth) I will not know. Through this time I will be challenged physically, mentally and spiritually as I prioritize and plan how my time and energy will be spent.

I am incredibly grateful to God that he has worked in me to give me wonderful things; to my husband for encouraging me, loving me, and providing childcare; my coach for his expertise and confidence; to my children for their constant questions as to why I would do such a thing; and to my friends, family and training partners who believe in me.

With this I know embark on my journey of training and blogging. I will do my best to keep you posted on new truths, challenges, and the ways in which I experience the power that has been placed in me. Thank you for reading.