A Little Funky

I am in a mood of reflection today. Have been in a bit of a funk the last couple days, to the point where Eric asked if we could find a babysitter and go out to dinner. I don't know what the deal is, but I have a couple of ideas, maybe it's all or one...who knows...gotta love the mind of a woman.

1. PMS. I know Day 19 is the day where I should not call my kids on anything. It seems justified to me, but actually I'm entering "Crazy Land". Better to keep quiet and save it for tomorrow. I don't know why it's taken me to the age of nearly 38 to figure this out.

2. Ironman training...DUH. I'm tired. I'm ready for taper. I'm nervous about these last three weeks. I still have some big workouts, yet I feel like letting down. I am exhausted by 9:00 PM but up by 5:00 AM because of either a workout or the damn, chirping birds outside my window.

3. My birthday. Tomorrow, June 5. I'll be 38. Sometimes I get down on my birthday...don't really know why. Maybe because I've learned to not really care about it because of past high expectations (hate those).

Here are a few things I've realized today:

1. I can swim 4500 yards in 90 minutes...how awesome is that? I couldn't believe the workout I did today and felt great doing it. My body is so strong right now.

2. It occurred to me today in the pool (and actually brought tears to my eyes). I am doing an Ironman...actually, in my book I already am one...in my 39th year. I have made it to 38. My Mom died when she was 37, so maybe part of the significance of my birthday is making it. I suppose that every person who has lost a parent has a rough time when they reach and surpass the age of that parent. Another thing...Coeur d'Alene is significant. My last memories of my Mom were when we lived in Spokane, she died shortly after our move to Southern California. This will probably really hit me at mile 18 of the marathon.

3. My kids and I have made it through the first full week of summer vacation together. We are all alive, they are happy, I am too.

Tomorrow, on my birthday, I get to ride 45 miles and run 9. It's long enough that I'm kind of dreading it, but know it's a totally possible workout. Hopefully I can get out early enough to avoid some of the heat.

Sunday I am volunteering for the Longmont Triathlon. I love volunteering at races and NEVER feel like I'd rather be doing it. Isn't that weird? I love the excitement of the day without the nerves. Plus, it's super fun to help out.

Much much much love to my brother running his first marathon in San Diego on Sunday. Go get 'em Jeremy. It will be wonderful.