Jumbly

It's my first taper day. I can now see why people might struggle through the taper. All of a sudden there's no focus on big workouts or fitting this or that in...it's done. A wonderful thing to celebrate, but now the focus is on the race...the day...the big deal. Here I am reading blogs of others' experiences, finding tips, re-reading the notes from my coach...trying to figure out how to make it a perfectly executed race. Well, the reality is...there is no such thing. I will do the best I can with my knowledge, with my training, but to assume the day is going to be perfect? Can't do that. I am oscillating back and forth between, "I don't care if it takes me all day...I just want to finish" and, "I wonder if I can get this or that time". Does it really matter? I'm not going to win. If I "race" I might feel awful, but if I don't I may wish I had. I think the best approach for me is to have everything in place, to the best of my knowledge, follow my nutrition plan, listen to my bod, keep a smile on my face and have fun. How many times will I ever get to do this again? Maybe never.

Everything in me feels jumbly. I remember this time before my Half Ironman last year. The couple weeks before were a bit of a disaster for the children in my life. I guess it goes to show that it all does matter to me. I do care about this race and its outcome. I can plan to the best of my ability, but the reality is, anything can and will happen. Do I worry about it? Yes, but I'll try not to. I trust in my training and the experiences of others. This is what risk is about...it's calculated, but at some point I have to let go.

Welcome to a well lived life!