I am working through something in my head this morning. I am not sure how to tactfully say it, so I will just say what's on my mind. I have a confession to make. Before training for this Ironman and realizing the commitment to get in workouts, make sacrifices, and push myself farther physically than I ever have, I was very judgmental. I used to hear about what people did in their workouts and be kind of snotty about it. I'm not sure where the reaction came from, if it was envy, or admiration, or just not understanding. Isn't that where our judgment lies? Not understanding? So, I apologize to all of you out there who have been on the passive receiving end of my judgment. Please forgive me.
It is rather interesting, now that I'm on this side of things. I understand the perceptions of others, since I've been there, certainly. But, it doesn't feel very good. It's not the random comment that bothers me, like, "You're crazy", but the quiet questioning. I may be reading into things more than I should, that's my way, so I am extending the benefit of the doubt. I am just glad that I have become aware, so I can check myself, when that little monster rears it's ugly head again, because it always does. I'm at the point now where I want to be proud and act like it, rather than sheepish and apologetic regarding my Ironman goal. I have no idea where I get this, but I am tired of it.
On another note, I received my bike this week and haven't had a chance to ride it. I must admit that I'm nervous thinking about it. What if it doesn't like me? I will get the chance this afternoon. I am putting off my brick (47 mi bike/10 mi run) until after my oldest's basketball game today. I wanted to see him play and more importantly wanted the insurance of support if something bad happens. Now I know Eric will be close by if there's a technical difficulty (not that I can't change my own tire or anything). So, my afternoon and evening will be spent outside on this beautiful, gorgeous, Colorado day...guess I can't ask for a better time. Well, maybe the beach in Hawaii...but that's not happening.
Thank you all for reading and accepting my apology. This training thing is really opening my eyes to a lot! And it's not always a pretty sight.
6 Notes from SDX 2018
6 years ago
I know how you feel Jen and I can assure you the whispering and raised eyebrows come from people who could never tap into an inner strength the way you are for Ironman. Yes. they're jealous. Yes. they don't get it. and to that I say SO WHAT. I don't get how people can sit around on a sunday, drink beer, watch football or spend their afternoon at the mall shopping and getting their nails done...is that really experiencing the gift of life? It's the same thing. Any time you need reassurance, a solid pep talk or a huge ego boost, you talk to me. Got it? ;) and one more thing. SCREW THOSE PEOPLE!
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