Over the weekend (which is rather typical for me) I was in a state of longing. I felt like a piece of swiss cheese, just full of holes. I wanted this and didn't want to do that...blah, blah, blah. The internal dialogue was exhausting and I felt very frustrated with myself. Here I have this great life - healthy kids, a husband who loves me, good friends, great opportunities, a vibrant faith - yet I sometimes cannot get past the new thing(s) I want.
God revealed to me this morning, in my prayer time, that He is once again trying to pry away all the tools and crutches I've used to fill the places that can only be filled by Him. In my life some examples are: cars, houses, decorating, coffee, diet coke, candy, exercise, racing, training, internet, praise and admiration from others, to name a few. I was reminded (for what seems the bazillionth time) that nothing offered by this world will fully satisfy. It doesn't mean any of this stuff is bad or wrong, they just will never be enough. I will ALWAYS want more...greedy thing that I am.
So, with that said, I hope it clears it up for you all. I am feeling so much love and encouragement from my Heavenly Father. He is so good, all of the time, even when it doesn't look that way. I do know that he is faithful. I am incredibly grateful for his work in my life and that he doesn't settle for my little idols.
I had a wonderful run yesterday (obviously needed it) and will hopefully swim today while A. is in his swim lesson. Pretty easy day ahead (at least at this point...one never knows).
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