Perfection

So, today it begins. No more of this "do whatever I want" mentality. Now it starts...day number 1. Actually my week is pretty easy compared to what I was doing for the half ironman race I did in August. I think it has to do more with the formality of what I'm training for.

Ever since I can remember I've struggled with the "right way to do things". Where does that come from? I tend to be a rather perfectionistic individual. If it doesn't get done the right way, then it shouldn't be done at all, and therefore I have failed. You can probably guess that I need to work on that, which I have been. In the interim period, these past two months, I managed to paint many of my oak cabinets. We moved into this lovely, large home about a year ago and I knew that the oak would make me crazy. So, one week, about a month ago I started painting...black. I have to say that in the middle of my kitchen project, when I saw things weren't turning out "perfectly" I had a breakdown of sorts...couldn't sleep, cried, and had a moment of panic where I thought, "I shouldn't have even started this ____ project." What happened to "good enough"? What happened to "I did my best"? Why is perfection the standard when it is completely unattainable?

I look around me, in my community, my country, media and so much of it screams "YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE WORTHY". Where did that come from? As I begin Ironman training, knowing I can only do my best, and every day is different, I have to be at peace with the process. I have to be at peace in the journey. I have to know that every day is a new day and every morning (or every moment) I must surrender all things over to the God of the Universe. I will do my best and I will wonder if I am good enough, but at least I know that He is perfect so I don't have to be.

Hmmm...heavy stuff for Day 1...lots of things rattling around in my brain. I am excited to see what this week brings.

Gotta go...kiddo needs a snack.